El Último Espejo. / Todo aquel que atraviesa el corredor del Miedo / llega fatalmente al Último Espejo / donde una mujer abrazada a tu esqueleto nos muestra / cara a cara el infierno de los ojos sellados / de los ojos cerrados para siempre como en una máscara / de muerta representando en el más allá el teatro último: / así miré yo a los ojos que borraron mi alma / así he mirado yo un día que no existe en el Último Espejo / L. M. Panero, El Último Espejo, Teoría, 1973 – EDEN – Monday, November 12th, 2012 – Valparaíso; smoking CBP on aluminum cap of plastic pasteurized milk bottle; CBP unveils instinct and freezes will; secret river purifies men from death and tirelessly sweeps them away to some lost paradise abounding in lascivious demons; addiction takes my pain hostage and feeds itself on it; I live in those contaminated bodies and end by them; through silence, desire rises to the rank of pure irony, insane promise of a paradise they call evil. – VALPARAISO – HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO – #REPLY – VALPARAISO / CASAS – JENNYS, AVENIDA FRANCIA 627, OFF INDEPENDENCIA. TEL: 900 47958. / BAR PUDETO 443. / CLUB SCANDINAVIAN, ON COCHRANE A FEW BLOCKS FROM PRAT MONUMENT. / LEO BAR, SUBIDA ECUADOR 24. / EL TRIUNFO, SUBIDA ECUADOR 27. TEL: (56-32) 257428. / LODEVI, SUBIDA ECUADOR 34. TEL: (56-32) 224217. / MR. EGG, SUBIDA ECUADOR 50. – CHICAS. TEL: (56-32) 257534. HOURS: – / LIVERPOOL, ECUADOR 130. CHICAS. HOURS / EL MEZON CON Z PUB, INTERIOR PASEO COUSIÑO. CHICAS. PRICES: -. TEL: (56-32) 690494. / es mucho vagabundeo, / estar sentado debajo de un árbol en cualquier parte. / es un andar solo por el universo. / uno nuevamente empieza a mirar, / el mundo convencional te pone un biombo, / hay que salir de él durante el período de fotografía. / S. Larrain. / de: l@gmail.com – objet: rép. – date: 12 novembre 2012 10:48:54 utc-06:00 – à: a@hotmail.com – te espero en valparaíso / ya quiero otro abrazo tuyo – / October 31st, 2012 – Valparaíso. / SERVICIO – DE – A – SALIDA – LLEGADA – AIR FRANCE – AF 406 – MAR 30 OCT – PARIS FR – SANTIAGO CL – 2320 – 0930 – 31 OCT – DIRECTO – TERMINAL 2E – DURACION 14:10 – RESERVA CONFIRMADA- ECONOMICO – DUENO DE AVION: AF AIR FRANCE – TRIPULACION DEL COCKPIT: AF AIR FRANCE – TRIPULACION DE CABINA: AF  AIR FRANCE – TIPO DE EQUIPO: BOEING 777 – 200 / 200 ER – ASIENTO 30G NO FUMADOR CONFIRMADO – LA INFORMACIÓN CONTENIDA EN ESTA TRANSMISIÓN ES CONFIDENCIAL Y NO PUEDE SER USADA O DIFUNDIDA POR PERSONAS DISTINTAS A SU(S) DESTINATARIO(S). EL USO NO AUTORIZADO DE LA INFORMACIÓN CONTENIDA EN ESTE CORREO PUEDE SER SANCIONADO CRIMINALMENTE DE CONFORMIDAD CON LA LEY CHILENA. SI HA RECIBIDO UN CORREO POR ERROR, POR FAVOR DESTRÚYALO Y NOTIFIQUE AL REMITENTE. / FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2ND 2012 / SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 4TH 2012: PARQUE CULTURAL DE VALPARAÍSO (PCDV) – MONDAY, NOVEMBER 5TH: PCDV/ 9:30 A.M. – 6:00 P.M. LIBERTY BAR. FLAMINGO ROSA, CAFÉ BORA, PAN DE AZUCAR – PASTA BASE: 500 PESOS PER DOSE. 15 DOSES. / MORNING: HOTEL / INTERNET: EXHAUSTION OF REAL-TIME COMMUNICATION; DRUG ALTERS STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS, MOOD, FEELINGS, BEHAVIOR, MOTIVATIONS AND THOUGHT PROCESSES. COCAINE BASE PASTE (CBP); FAVORED BECAUSE OF ECONOMIC CRISIS, LOW COST, AND LACK OF OTHER DRUGS LIKE COCAINE, PROGRESSIVE INCREASE IN PRESENCE OF CBP ON STREET MARKET; FEATURES SUCH AS HIGH DEPENDANCE, ASSOCIATION WITH HIGH-IMPULSE BEHAVIORS, AGGRESSIVENESS, BREAKING OF SOCIAL CODES GIVE IT HIGH VISIBILITY; I SMOKE IT IN AN ALUMINUM CRYSTAL CAN; EUPHORIA AND EXCITEMENT LAST A FEW SECONDS, URGE TO SMOKE IS UNCONTROLLABLE; AFTER A WHILE PRODUCT INSTILLS FEAR IN MIND: ANXIETY DEPRESSION, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE RAGE; PARANOIA SEEMS IRREVERSIBLE; BUT I AM SUBJECT TO THE SAME CONSTANT OBSESSIONS; EACH THOUGHT LIKE A MENTAL TOXIN, POISONOUS SUBSTANCE PRODUCED WITHIN LIVING CELLS OR ORGANISMS; THE WORD TOXIN DOES NOT SPECIFY METHOD OF DELIVERY; IT SIMPLY MEANS IT IS A BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCED POISON BUT THOUGHTS AIN’T BIOLOGICAL IN ANY WAY; SECONDARY EFFECTS: IMPURE IMAGES, ASSOCIATIONS THE BRAIN NO LONGER CENSORS, UNCHANGING AND CONFINED SPACE OF THE ROOM; CONTEMPLATING PSYCHOTIC SPECTACLE OF PIXELATED WORLD ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN: EVERY WORD BECOMES PROPAGANDA: CONSTANT PLEASURE HAS TAKEN THE PLACE OF ETERNAL LIFE BUT THE LIE IS SIMILAR; IN THE OVERRIDING INTEREST OF ORDER, GLOBAL ANESTHESIA IS ADMINISTERED AT THE POWERFUL REQUEST OF COWARDLY AND TREMBLING MASSES: EDUCATION, PRESS, CINEMA, ART, LITERATURE, POLITICS AND BUSINESS AT THE SERVICE OF THOSE WHO MANAGE WORKERS / CONSUMER STOCKS, FLESH FLOW AND SURPLUS; THE IDEA OF DEATH IS DISINFECTED, COVERED UP, RELEGATED TO PHILOSOPHY WHEREAS IT IS THE CONDITION AND MEANS FOR HUMAN EXISTENCE; PUBLICITY AND ‘SPECTACLE’ DEVOTE ALL EFFORTS TOWARDS ERADICATION OF THEIR PRESENCE WHILST PUBLIC INFORMATION LOAD THEM WITH SOCIAL, MEDICAL AND MILITARY SYMBOLISM, MAKING THEM ALL THE MORE ABSTRACT; MEANWHILE CBP EATS AWAY AT THE MIND AND ATTACKS THE BODY WITHOUT RESPITE; PROCLAMATION OF TRUTH MADE THROUGH THE DECOMPOSITION OF LIFE; NEW FORM OF BEAUTY BEING LIVED IN OUR BODIES, TO BETTER PROPAGATE DEATH; / December 30th, 2007 – Phnom Penh: on street 51′ post-genocidal murky territory, lustful Lilim lure lost men to vice and death through sickening scents of ice and Yama; in that theater of sordid illusions, all sense of humanity is undermined by spread of artificial molecules that are cheap to produce and acquire, cancel sleep, hunger, fatigue and thought; I sense the unbearable coldness of that invisible community of devious survivors searching for darkness in excess; drug effects provoke a state of dangerous precision and concentration of thought bordering on obsession and paranoia; a hundred of those junkies die every day; others destroy all traces of lost innocence in ultimate fits of survival rage; Ka’s one of them, is known as a taxi-girl, works meters away from the White Cobra, hiding her nastiness in the dark; two simple lines of eyeliner mark her glassy eyes; her eyebrows and skull have been methodically shaved; a fake wig covers her bald head; she traps customers too drunk to worry about the blue stain that wraps around her left eye and wrinkles the skin of her cheek; I know she belongs to a drug dealer ; I’ve been warned about the risks incurred by those who approach her but I take her anyway; there are no negotiations, no superfluous words; only the empty room, her legs wide open, her hard belly, muscles twisting in nervous tension; her body’s there to be taken, her beauty’s hiding behind the cruel outline of her distant smile, her flesh is warm, she spits, sucks, licks, pants like an animal, her rough tongue wraps around my cock, time jams – I still don’t know that ice dictates her actions; she fucks me until blood exhausts my nerves and consciousness; I foresee another possible relationship: possess her in her sleep  and photograph her endlessly, capturing nothing but the smooth surface of her still figure; drunk from lust, shaking the flesh of her inert body through my skinned cock and come into the slight opening of eyelids that shiver under the effect of the amphetamine; she wakes up, I promise to come back… / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: (Aucun objet) – Date:14 novembre 2012 14:00:26 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – pensé en llamarte, pero no me animé. / me pregunto cómo estarás. / quisiera contarte tantas cosas… / ¿tendremos la alegría de volver a vernos pronto? / seguís en mí. / te mando muchos besos – / LENNON PUB, INTERIOR PASEO COUSIÑO. / SCRATCH DISCOTHEQUE, BOHN 970. / AMAZONAS ON-LINE EXCLUSIVO, PRIVACIDAD, ATENCIÓN EXTRANJEROS, CONTINUADO.(32)2902450 / BARBARA’S, VIÑA CENTRO, 30.000, 40.000, 96006057 HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO – 25000 1 HR, GREAT TIME IN BED, RESPONSIVE, PRETTY FACE. /january 11th, 2007 – Phnom Penh; I arrive at her apartment, near Psar Thmey market; outside, at the foot of the building, an entire family sleeps under a tarp; you have to step over them to reach the door; light no longer works in stairs; obscure deals take place in shit-caked room; dealers come; I smoke and have to leave the room at irregular intervals; dealers leave; Ka and I smoke: regular consumption determines new psychological boundaries, new feelings, new types of insomnia, new realities; time is punctuated by three-phase cycle of methamphetamine: flash, load, collapse; after several days of uninterrupted hysterical sleeplessness, collapse periods become identifiable as such; Ka’s fucked up, leads me into forbidden territories; the room, the White Cobra, the Heart of Darkness – a cursed triangle haunted by dealers, whores, pimps, corrupt cops and sly customers; will slows to a stop; destruction becomes slow agony; life suspends in pleasure; Ka repeats: too much is not enough! The drug flows through me, irrigates the lungs, the brain, blood fills the penis; we fuck, Ka whispers: never like this before! Our two bodies lonely in the empty space of a room; / Tuesday, November 6th 2012. Valparaíso. PCDV: 9:30 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M. HOTEL. CBP. THROUGH WINDOW, CITY SEEMS TO SLEEP UNDER VEIL OF COLD ASHES; I GET LOST IN THE EMPTINESS THAT DEVOURS BODY FROM THE INSIDE; CBP’S A MEANINGFUL EXPRESSION OF THE GEOMETRIC MADNESS OF THE WORLD, OF THE DETERMINATION WITH WHICH MEN UNDERTAKE TO DESTROY MEN, TO DESTROY THEM AS MEN BEFORE MAKING THEM DIE SLOWLY; TONIGHT, ALICIA (GIRL IN THE BROTHEL) SEEMED TO HAVE FORGOTTEN HER NAME AND THE STRENGTH TO REMEMBER; SHE SEES HERSELF AS A SLAVE, PRISONER OF A PAIN TOO OLD STILL TO BE MOURNED – EVERY DAY, SHE DIES; FASCINATED, UNDER THE BLACK LIGHT IN CLUB PARAÍSO, BY THE SILENCE OF HER SMOOTH STILL BODY; INFECTIOUS DEATH SQUIRTED ON THE FACE OF INNOCENCE;  NOW, IN THE ROOM, SMOKE MINGLES WITH BLOOD AND STRETCHES THE VEINS, MUSCLES, ORGANS; NEURONS VANISH INTO THE INTOXICATION; HANGING FROM THE CEILING, WHITE NEON LIGHT; UNDER THE SKIN, SCABIES, TINY MITES CRAWLING; MAYBE THE NERVES, THE UGLY FEAR THAT GRADUALLY SUBSIDES INTO A DEADLY LAUGHTER; THESE ARE THE SYMPTOMS, ADVANCE OF SCABIES, PROMISCUOUS SKIN INCREASES RISK OF SCABIES? HOW TO DIAGNOSE IT? HOW DO YOU TREAT SCABIES? CAN I GET THE SCABIES MITES OUT OF MY CLOTHES? WHAT MEDICINES WILL I NEED TO TAKE? HAND-MADE PIPE FEEDS THE CONTINUING CYCLE OF COLD DOSES; THERE IS NO ELSEWHERE, THERE WILL BE NO MORE ELSEWHERE; TIRELESS WAKEFULNESS: COLD GEOGRAPHY OF SENSES – THE PRICE OF MEMORY, THE PRICE OF COMPLICITY; LOVE SEEMS NO MORE THAN SOPHISTICATED COMMUNICATION; CONSUMPTION / ADDICTION / SACRIFICE: MOUTH SPELLS OUT THE SUBSTANCE’S NAME, LUNGS BREATHE OUT OF THE GLASS TUBE: CBP, THE INTERMEDIATE PRODUCT IN THE EXTRACTION PROCESS / PURIFICATION OF COCAINE HYDROCHLORIDE: ACCORDING TO THE SCREEN, THE PROCESS INCLUDES DRYING AND CRUSHING COCA LEAVES, ADDING KEROSENE, AMMONIA, SULFURIC ACID, FILTERING, ADDING HYDROCHLORIC ACID, POTASSIUM PERMANGANATE, FILTERING, DRYING, OBTAINING CC. ERITROXYLUM COCAINE, DISSOLVING IN WATER, TREATING AGAIN WITH KEROSENE OR DIESEL, SULFURIC ACID AND AMMONIA, FILTERING TO OBTAIN YELLOWISH OR GRAYISH SEMI-SOLID MIXTURE; WHILE THE SMOKE SCRAPES THE THROAT, RUMORS OF THE STILL CITY BECOME DULL FURY; ANOTHER DOSE OF THE VOID; TONIGHT IN THE BROTHEL,THE GIRL MENTIONED BOHEMIA: TRUTH DRIPPING GENTLY BETWEEN HER LIPS; ENTIRELY ORGANIZED AROUND THE DENIAL OF COMMUNITY, THE ABJECT LOGIC OF RENTABILITY IS REGISTERED IN FLESH AND MINDS THROUGH ABSOLUTE CONTROL OF TIME; BODIES OF THE WORKERS NO LONGER CONFRONTED WITH THE ORDER OF THINGS BUT INTEGRATED INTO IT: CRUELEST IMAGINABLE FORM OF HUMILIATION, OF PHYSICAL EXTERMINATION; THE ANTIDOTE IS SENSATION: DESIRE, EXCESS, ASSERTION OF INSANITY TO WARD OFF SUBMISSION AND FEAR; ALICIA ASKS ME TO WAIT FOR HER TO END HER SHIFT; WHITE DAMP POWDER BEING INHALED UNTIL DAWN; LIFE SEEMS ABSENT FOREVER; THE LOGIC OF THOUGHT EXPRESSES THE MURDEROUS TRUTH OF THE GLOBAL ORDER – THOUGHTS AND CONSCIOUSNESS MERGING INTO DEFEAT; ECSTASY’S THE MAIN VALUE OF A SYSTEM THAT CURBS FLOWS, CONTROLS MOVEMENTS, ORGANIZES THE TRAFFICKING OF HUMANS AS OBJECTS IN CONCENTRATED SPACES AND METHODICALLY ELIMINATES AND PUTS SUPERFLUOUS POPULATIONS TO DEATH; GENOCIDAL LOGICS EQUATE MEN WITH BEASTS / THEORETICAL ARTICULATION DOESN’T SOOTH, BURNS INSIDE THE LUNGS; CBP KILLS TIME INSIDE ME, / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: luna llena acá y allá – Date: 15 novembre 2012 20:02:31 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – tardé horas en responder tu mensaje, porque lo leí decenas de veces. / en medio salí en bicicleta, tomé algo en un bar, fui y volví, conversé con gente en un patio, volví de nuevo, / salí de nuevo, hablé de mil cosas y volví otra vez a casa. y ahora sí te escribo. / también extraño tu presencia, tu brazo extendido recibiéndome en la cama, escuchar tu respiración cerca, / sentir tu olor, escucharte. / la tristeza es a veces sólo una costumbre. / su opuesto, a veces, no se entiende. / a veces no importa entender. / tengo calor para darte. / me gusta que recuerdes mi boca, que aún te siente. / mi mano recuerda cómo tocó tu cuerpo. / mi cuerpo recuerda cómo pasaron tus manos. / no quiero sólo recordarlo. / quiero dormir y despertar contigo. – / TANIA, DOMICILIOS, PRIVACIDAD, 62684729 / 30.000, SOLO HOTELES, DOMICILIO, 099621072 – MARCELITA S, EXCELENTE NIVEL, AMBIENTE, CALIDO, 25.000, 89853566 HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / ¿LE GUSTA ESTE JARDIN QUE ES SUYO? / ¡EVITE QUE SUS HIJOS LO DESTRUYAN! / M. Lowry, Under the Volcano / February 2008 – Phnom Penh; start of addiction; first attacks of paranoia; Ka insists on fucking bareback – as a challenge, as a present, as proof of commitment; she teaches me to combine doses of ice and Yama: Yama smoke is thicker and stays in the body but smoke from ice is pure, reaches the brain and does not come back out; Ka lives in denial of all morals, commits scatology, bestiality and murder; she grew up in the brothels along the Rue Des Petites Fleurs where a girl fucks two thousand men a year; she may, somehow, somewhere, have one or more children; she replies silently to each question I ask; she takes pride in the relentless machinery of her body and collects the dead memories she lives with; she despises innocence when innocence is reduced to cowardice, she knows pleasures no one suspects; she obeys, betrays, recognizes the dirt behind the masks of compliance; most nights she sells her body for the price of bad seeds so as not to sleep alone; I wait outside the room, orphans’ grunts resonate in the silence, ice vapor rises in the thick warm nights of Phnom Penh; at dawn, Ka crawls along counters or sprays herself across the deformed mattress: most days, we reconcile in empty hours before daylight, most precious hours for those who have forgotten sleep; I refuse to pay the price, no longer photograph K, fuck her for free, some kind of love… / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: suave – Date: 19 novembre 2012 14:40:01 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – con los días las sensaciones en lugar de disiparse, se intensifican / estoy sumergida en una marea que no concibe tu ausencia / es una necesidad física, algo vital / que me permite caminar, seguir, vivir, hacer, sí… / pero que me devuelve siempre a un lugar donde no hay forma de cortar este deseo extremo y suave – / EL CIELO, ERRAZURIZ 1152. / BAR LA PLAYA, SERRANO 567. / LIVING DICOTHEQUE, BLANCO 1386. – CINZANO, PLAZA ANIBAL PINTO 1182. 11 VALPARAISO ETERNO, ALMIRANTE SENORET 150, PISO 2. – MASSAGE – BANOS TURCOS, FREIRE 564, NEAR THE EL PARQUE VALPARAISO. / FREIRE 893, QUILPE. TEL: 407 848 AND 408 025. / MAPS – CHEZ GIRLS, MARINA 72, APT. 903, OFF VON SCHROEDERS. CHICAS. PRICES: -. TEL: 0921-59295. – VANESSITAS, AVENIDA VALPARAISO 315. / VON SCHROEDERS 220. CHICAS. / NIGHTCLUBS / LUNA GATA CLUB, / GALLO ROJO. / SALA MURANO, / march 2008 – Phnom Penh; daily doses of ice and Yama; drugs maintain their intensity through days and nights; head-buzzing desire, slow rituals, inhalation of sophisticated mixtures, tireless repetition of orgasms, slow dissolution of all boundaries between good and evil; time and space become an internal exile, bodies convulse in a song: welded jaws, bulging eyes, anemia, prostration; the air lies still, fear creeps into silence, anemic flesh gets trapped in lust and the recurrent idea of betrayal becomes an inability to trust, to care; I try to learn her dirtiest secrets: syllables roam through her pasty mouth; wearing of words and gestures, brutality of survival through lust; Ka takes revenge on her fate by leasing fifteen-year-old girls to sticky aesthetes; hollow nights become tacky days; humanity blurs, far from the polite community of cowards… / Wednesday, November 7th 2012. Valparaíso. PCDV / 9:30 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M. LIBERTY BAR, HOTEL – CONSUMPTION OF CBP DOESN’T ERASE REALITY BUT INTENSIFIES IT, INDUCES PURE PRESENCE TO THE WORLD WHILE DARKNESS SWALLOWS ME FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY OWN BELLY; EACH CELL OF THE BODY SLOWLY BECOMES AUTONOMOUS; OUTSIDE, THE CITY’S ALWAYS MORE OR LESS A HELLHOLE: IN THE STREETS LINING THE PORT, SILENT BEINGS ADVANCE IN VAGUE PROCESSIONS TO SOME INVISIBLE PLACE OF WORSHIP; MOURNING THE DISSOLUTION OF ASPHYXIATED COMMUNITIES IN SMOKE VAPOR; AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE DRUGS HAVE SMOTHERED EACH AND EVERY OUTBREAK OF HUMANISTIC OR COMMUNAL REVOLT; THE COLLAPSE OF THE INDIVIDUALS WITHIN HAVE TORN DOWN FAMILIES AND NEIGHBOROODS END UP IN AN INTOLERABLE BANALITY OF SUFFERING THAT SLOWLY TURNS INTO MEANINGLESSNESS; THE ENDLESS CONTAMINATION OF FLUIDS AND BREATH SPREADS BIOLOGICAL DEATH, DESTINY’S INVESTED WITH WELL THOUGHT-OUT STRATEGIES OF MASS DESTRUCTION; DRUG TRAFFIC AND THE SAVAGE WARS IT CAUSES PARTICIPATE IN THE MORE-THAN-EVER EFFICIENT SCHEME OF LETTING MARGINAL POPULATIONS SELF-DESTRUCT: UNPRECEDENTED ECONOMICAL VIOLENCE CREATES NEW TYPES OF VIOLENCE: BLIND VIOLENCE, WITH NO KIND OF LIMIT, CLAIM OR ADDRESS; ULTIMATELY, THE IMMUNE RESPONSE OF A MISERABLE SOCIAL BODY TO THE PRESCRIPTIVE RULES OF SOCIETY: BETWEEN ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-NINE MILLION AND TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-TWO MILLION PEOPLE OR THREE POINT THREE TO SIX POINT ONE PER CENT OF THE WORLD POPULATION AGED BETWEEN FIFTEEN AND SIXTY-FOUR HAVE USED ILLICIT SUBSTANCES IN THE PREVIOUS YEAR AND A HALF; THAT NUMBER IS ESTIMATED TO HAVE BEEN CURRENT DRUG USERS, NARCOTIC CONTAMINATION OVERFLOWING THE SOCIAL ORDER WITH DESTRUCTIVE CONSEQUENCES; THE VIOLENCE OF THAT INVISIBLE COMMUNITY, MADE OUT OF NON-ACCOUNTABLE ENTITIES, IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE BRUTALITY OF THE GLOBAL ECONOMY’S ORGIASTIC LOGIC; CRIME, WHICH MAKES PERILOUS JUNGLES OUT OF URBAN TERRITORIES, IS THE SIGN OF A PRECIOUS VITALITY / PART OF THE UGLY, IRRATIONAL, SPONTANEOUS PROCESS OF SURVIVAL AND RESISTANCE TO THE MORAL – ECONOMIC ORDER; IN THE STREETS OF VALPARAISO, AS ELSEWHERE, LOST SOULS HAVE BEEN STRIPPED OF THEIR DIGNITY, HAVE NOTHING BUT DELINQUENCY TO GIVE FREE REIN TO THEIR SAVAGERY BECAUSE HISTORY, IN ITS FUNCTION OF REGULATING HORROR, HAS FAILED AND MADE A NECESSITY OUT OF BUTCHERY; REASON IS SWEPT AWAY BY CHAOS; ECSTASY ALONE, BE IT SEXUAL OR NARCOTIC, PURVEYS INSTANT AND ABSOLUTE SATISFACTION TO THOSE WHO DON’T SEEK REFUGE WITHIN THE COMFORT OF COWARDICE; LONELY JUNKIES IN THE HOLD OF MUTANT MOLECULES THAT FORGE THE IMAGINATION NECESSARY TO  ELABORATE NEW CRIMES AND OBSCENITIES; IN THE DARK HOURS OF THE NIGHT, FRAGILE INTIMACIES AND SOLIDARITIES WERE BORN: AN EXCESS OF RAGE THAT BREATHES LIFE INTO THE CRUELTY OF THE WORLD; ABSORBING THE SUBSTANCE, REFUSING TO RENOUNCE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF GENUINE SUFFERING, ATTEMPTING TO GIVE A COHERENT SHAPE TO A DISORDERED AND HARMFUL UTOPIA: THE RELEASE, THE FLESH BURIED UNDER THE SURFACE OF SPECTACULAR ILLUSIONS, THE PORNOGRAPHIC DISPLAY OF A BESTIAL VITALITY OF BEINGS, A LASCIVIOUS REVOLUTION, CARNAL, VIOLENT AND BLIND: LOW NARCOTIC DEATH AND SEXUAL WASTE AS INTIMATE STRATEGIES: THE ENDURING PATHWAY BETWEEN THE WORLD OF FEAR AND THAT OF DESIRE IS AN ACT OF LOVE, WITHOUT REASON AND AGAINST REASON; NO SPACE LEFT FOR INTELLIGENCE AND THEORIZING RESISTANCE; I GIVE MYSELF THE CHEMICAL MEANS TO ENGAGE IN THE PRACTICE OF IMMORALITY; / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: El dia que me quieras – Date: 21 novembre 2012 14:37:09 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – Acaricia mi ensueño el suave murmullo de tu suspirar, / ¡como ríe la vida / si tus ojos negros me quieren mirar! Y si es mío el amparo, / de tu risa leve que es como un cantar, / ella aquieta mi herida, / todo, todo se olvida.. – / KAMAZU / LAS URRACAS. / LAS BRUJUS. – DISCO SALSA. CHICAS. PRICES: $40, SHORT TIME. CHILEANS TAKE GIRLS UPSTAIRS. – THE MP, AVENIDA VALPARAISO BETWEEN ECUADOR AND TRASLAVINA. NORTH SIDE OF AVENIDA VALPARAISO AND TOWARDS ECUADOR. FROM THE CROSSING OF ECUADOR AND AVENIDA VALPARAISO, ABOUT 10 OR 20M, EASY TO SPOT PICTURE OF HALF-NAKED WOMAN. / April 4th, 2008 – Phnom Penh; informed of my father’s worsening condition, I return to France; death of my father; mid-April 2008 – Phnom Penh; return to Cambodia; Ka lies naked, legs apart, squirts in the dark, drinks fluids from my body like poisonous sap; my mouth waters in her hole, I lick her wounds, her tears, the acid juice running down her thighs; when the methamphetamine fades away, we hold onto hate; on bad days, Ka stalks her prey without compassion, with discipline, with the aid of informers who she sucks and helps jerk off; she wanders, yields to rage, seduces the johns she fears and cons the ones she despises; narcotic lucidity defeats the physical order of the world, slowly diluting into the thin smoke of ice; hysterical skin, bloodless flesh moves disturbingly in the room; the bed, the disorderly table one can only sit at if invited, the small reproduction of a Bacon triptych nailed to the wall, next to the mirror; I shuffle cards, play solitaire, dig into the meat of my left toe with a razor blade; Tao, 16 yrs. old, handles the small bags full of crystals; on the table: some scissors, lighters, straws, a roll of toilet paper, sequins, empty water bottles, a candle, a roll of aluminum foil, a hairbrush, a bouquet of artificial flowers, empty ziplock bags, red Yama seals, several packs of cigarettes, the remains of some fruit, a large container stocked with makeup, playing cards, more packets of cigarettes, a razor, tweezers, another lighter, broken parts of lighters; at the foot of the Bacon triptych, a small altar is dedicated to a greedy god; beads of sweat on my shoulders and neck tremble in the vortex provoked by the fan screwed to the wall; my hand grazes the ground; outside the room, the entrance to the building is protected by two off-duty policemen; from the far corner, young thugs and tuk-tuk drivers watch me relentlessly, / De: @gmail.com – Objet: temporadas en el infierno – Date: 06 janvier 2013 22:19:13 UTC – 06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – “¿qué dice la letra?”, pregunta sentado en la silla más cercana a la puerta del casino social j cruz / así que el encuentro fue directo y, entre cigarrillos, se acordó una salida a la noche siguiente. / de sus días en valparaíso un detalle lo emociona: una de sus fotos salió junto a una de sergio larrain en un diario local. / al llegar al lugar de la cita – un símbolo de la bohemia porteña que dejó de ser – su figura se recorta a través de la ventana. / escribe sobre un anotador apoyado en sus piernas y, al ver que alguien se acerca, deja de escribir y rompe las hojas que quedaron sobre la mesa. / al día siguiente viajará a parís, pero esa noche fuma en un callejón y en un taxi que sube el cerro canta lo que suena en la radio. está sumergido en el momento, en el lugar. / tiene cuatro hijas. dice que eligió que fueran mujeres, porque son mejores para el mundo. es suave en sus formas. escucha. cuestiona contradicciones. es imposible imaginarlo en cuerpo de niño. / dice que lleva un año sin hacer fotos. pero luego toma algunas: con flash, con una cámara mínima, desentendido del posible resultado / pasadas las horas sugiere que se hable de la inmovilidad. / habla del sufrimiento mental. / «no estoy buscando ninguna respuesta. ya ni voy con preguntas, voy con nada, voy siguiendo, tratando de sentir.» / toma de un trago un café que estaba helado por el olvido. / – PLAY OLD CLUB, AVENIDA VALPARAISO 1115. / JACARANDA, PASEO COUSIÑO 18. / Thursday, November 8th 2012. Valparaíso. PCDV / 9:30 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M. STOCK RUNS OUT; TRANSITORY AND ALTERED STATES OF CRAVING REACH PURE DEMENTIA; THE STREETS ARE EMPTY AROUND LIBERTY’S STREETCORNER; IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, THE SMELL OF CRIME; CYNICAL AND COWARDLY GAZES; FACTS LEAD TO BLIND CRUELTY: THE WRETCHED FAMILY THAT SELLS ME CBP COMPLIES WITH THE UNWRITTEN RULES OF SURVIVAL, HANDING OUT NAMELESS CHEMICALS TO THEIR OWN PREGNANT DAUGHTER; ALICIA WAITS FOR MEAT AT CLUB PARAÍSO; SHE’S THE PROTOTYPE OF A NEW PROLETARIAN FIGURE – IN A WORLD WHERE FRANTIC SEXUAL CONSUMERISM HAS REPLACED DESIRE AND MEMORY; HER BODY’S THE STRATEGIC RECEPTACLE OF CAPITALIST LOGICS WHICH IMPOSE FLEETING PASSION ON THE FLESH; THIRSTY FOR TOXIC SUBSTANCES, SHE WORMS HER WAY INTO A CRUELLY INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF MADNESS, OFFERING HER PERFUMED FLESH TO MY AVIDITY; CLUB PARAÍSO’S AN IDEALIZED PLACE IN WHICH LOST SOULS FIND PEACE, HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT, WHERE THEY COME TO REST; IT IS A CONCEPTUAL ICON, A SUBLIMATION OF THE MISERY OF CIVILIZATION: THERE, EVERYTHING CAN BE SHOWN BECAUSE NOTHING IS MATERIAL, TANGIBLE – EVERYTHING IS VISIBLE, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE; BACKSTAGE, CBP’S BEING SMOKED IN HAND-MADE PIPES, ASHES PLACED AT THE BOTTOM TO KEEP THEM WARM; THE GIRLS’ BEAUTY LIES IN IMMENSE PAIN AND THE EPHEMERAL PASSION OF THEIR DESTINIES, SURFACES IN THEIR CAPACITY TO SURPASS THE CONDITIONS IMPOSED UPON THEM – WE SMOKE: THE DRUG REACHES THE BLOODSTREAM AND BRAIN WITHIN FIVE TO EIGHT SECONDS AFTER BEING SMOKED; IT HAS A VERY FAST, INTENSE AND SHORT EFFECT OF FIVE TO TEN MINUTES, WHICH GIVES THE DRUG A GREATER ADDICTIVE POTENTIAL; SMOKING PRODUCES AN INITIAL STAGE OF EUPHORIA AND HYPER-EXCITABILITY, DECREASED FATIGUE, REDUCTION OF SLEEP AND INHIBITION OF APPETITE, QUICKLY FOLLOWED BY A PERIOD OF DYSPHORIA CHARACTERIZED BY ANXIETY, SEXUAL INDIFFERENCE AND AN UNCONTROLLABLE DESIRE TO CONSUME AGAIN, WHICH LEADS TO A STAGE OF CONTINUOUS CONSUMPTION TO AVOID THE DYSPHORIA CRASH; REPEATED USE PRODUCES ANOREXIA, VIOLENT BEHAVIOR, PSYCHOSIS AND HALLUCINATIONS; IT AFFECTS THE BRAIN, THE ANATOMY, MAKING ADDICTION A NEURO-PSYCHIATRIC PATHOLOGY; IT ALSO BREAKS THE FRAGILE AND INTRICATE CHEMICAL BALANCE IN THE NEURONAL CIRCUIT AND CAUSES INCREASED EFFECTS IN BATTERED, ADDICTED BODIES WHICH, SOVEREIGN IN THEIR SELF-DESTRUCTION, DISSOLVE INTO THE BANALITY OF A SELF-INFLICTED DEATH INSTINCT; IN THE HOTEL ROOM, DAWN RISES; WHITE SMOKE FILLS THE SPACE; LIFE STARTS OVER – CONFUSION OF GESTURES, THE OBSCURE CHEMICAL FORCE PARALYSES THE LIMBS, INERTIA SUCKS ME INTO THE CHAOS OF EXACERBATED SENSATIONS: CONSTANTLY FAILED ATTEMPTS TO LATCH BACK ONTO LIFE; THEN, THE EPHEMERAL RUSH OF VITAL ENERGY IS SUCKED INTO THE MUSCLES, THE BONES AND THE NERVES – BLASTS OF ELECTRICAL VIBES, CONSTANTLY PUMPED INTO THE ORGANS AND TURGID LIMBS, IMMUNIZE THE MIND AGAINST NOTHINGNESS ; HEAT SPREADS THROUGH THE NECK, JAWS STIFFEN, SENSES SUFFOCATE ANXIETY, DESIRE OVERWHELMS THE MIND, GENITALS SWELL UP: LIFE OVERTHROWS REASON – THE SCREAM TAKES SHAPE IN MY CHEST; / early May 2008 – Phnom Penh; I play the game according to her rules and the Cambodian room becomes a kingdom, fucking Ka not to die, not to think, not to suffer… to suffer; asking for more than the insipid color of dying flesh; her movements are slow and precise when she shaves her scalp and forehead; her hole, precious, more valuable than the lives of all of her customers; Ka teaches me her tricks, allows me to fuck the walkabout, AIDS-infected Viet whores who lie on sweat-soaked mattresses and sing while waiting for the man to ejaculate; words aren’t of any use anymore, morality seems just a matter of patience; like cooking, the combustion of ice, Yama and heroin waste which Ka cooks until it gets doughy, thick and smokeable; common symptoms of addiction pile upon each other: dizziness, confusion, difficulty in breathing, loss of coordination, numbness, visual hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, panic, paranoia, nausea, sweating, diarrhea, obsessive behavior, hyperactivity, headaches, blurred vision, itchy skin, euphoria, increased alertness, increased confidence, increased arousal, increased sociability, increased irritability, excessive sleep, anxiety, insomnia, depression, violent behavior, confusion, teeth grinding, decreased inhibitions, restlessness, weakness, fevers, chills, tremors, increased libido, increased need for sex, sores on the genitals, anus and mouth, inability to attain orgasm, inability to ejaculate, erectile dysfunction, decrease of appetite, impaired immune system, liver damage, anemia… / De: l@gmail.com – Objet:¿estás ahí? Date: 11 janvier 2013 17:19:10 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – si pudiera iría ya mismo a verte, donde sea que estés – / PROMOCION DÍA, 10.000, 13.000, TARJETAS CRÉDITO, 13.000, 2986099. / 50.000, 1 HORA, REÑAQUINAS, EXCLUSIVO, HORARIO CONTINUADO, NIVEL. 090503369 HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / may 5th, 2008, 11:58:46 p.m. – Phnom Penh; – you’re not fucked up, uhm? too much but not enough? before, i had many men, all good men… I do not ask too much money from men… something I do not need, I do not ask; I do not care! – what happened to your customer tonight? – he’s not my customer! if I want customer, no need to let you here… II don’t need customer to come here to see you… it’s my job… i don’t want to make customers angry about mad man like you… you hurt because you hurt yourself… if I go with customers, you can’t be angry with me… you don’t pay me, you don’t take care me… you don’t ask me to stop! you tell me to care myself but you have to care yourself too… I am crazy and you are crazy… if I give you smoke, you burn yourself…you are fucked up… it’s for this shit you’re coming… what do you want from me?.; tell me! what do you want from me? I don’t care, I don’t know but i know what I want for you… you pay for this shit… I can pay for you too because I want you, not because you want me… take your shit, here… take it! go kill yourself… now, I have nothing… I’m not happy… how many days you come in Phnom Penh? how many days already? how many times you smoked already… is it enough? Antoine… smoke… your head is always busy… / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: (Aucun objet) – Date: 27 janvier 2013 14:17:50 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – me gusta mucho la música en piano, también en violines. / cuando era chica tomaba clases de piano. quería ser libre y tocar y la profesora no me dejaba. entonces decidí dejar las clases con ella y mis padres vendieron el piano. nunca más toqué hasta un tiempo en el que estuve muy enferma (no del cuerpo, si no de la mente) y pude tocar todo lo que quise. luego de nuevo, no pude más. creo que podré de nuevo cuando sea muy vieja. / hay algunos sonidos que desde mi lado más romántico o heroico o melancólico / creo que fueron inventados para mi. / yo no sé de dónde viene tu silencio. y es, sin más, lo que hoy ocurre. / igual intento llegar a vos de alguna manera. / sin estrategias, ni expectativas. / con música. – / HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / HOTEL MONTERILLA IS LOCATED AT AVENIDA DOS NORTE 65. – VIP MASSAGE PARLOR 4 BLOCKS AWAY FROM THE HOTEL ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE LAGOON. SMALL SIGN ON THE ENTRYWAY AND YOU GO UPSTAIRS WHERE YOU RING A BELL. THE LADY ANSWERS THE DOOR, BRINGS YOU INSIDE AND PARADES THE GIRLS IN FRONT OF YOU. PRICE RANGES FROM $30 TO $70, DEPENDING ON WHAT YOU WANT AND FOR HOW LONG. MASSAGE / CHICAS. PRICES: $30-70. HOURS: – / may 20th, 2008 – Phnom Penh; trying to break with Ka and the crystal at the same time; my understanding of the physical and psychological effects of the drug is fading; we become the object of rampant paranoia: while Ka comes up with some dirty strategy, I wean myself off her with the tongues and strokes of two incestuous sisters, Bopal and Lin; after a final fight, I finish off the pot of rare cream Ka uses for moisturizing scars on her face in order to sodomize her; next day, I find a rag doll of my likeness pierced with pins; Ka sends cops on my trail, I leave after gazing, for the last time, at her body, twisted in pain, in the gutter of an alley, right off Rue Pasteur; I have heard her voice many nights since that time, moaning relentlessly in the darkness of empty rooms, and I remain silent, cowardly helpless at the repeated sight of her defeat – / Friday, November 9th 2012. Valparaíso. PCDV / 9:30 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M. HOTEL ROOM, CBP; IN A CONTAGIOUS AND INFLATIONARY SCHEME OF ADDICTION, RELATIONSHIPS DISINTEGRATE; DESTRUCTION OF ALL EMOTIONAL LINKS TO OTHERS IS A DELIBERATE ACT; CONSCIOUSNESS DOESN’T CLING TO ANYTHING, AND THOUGHTS GET DILUTED IN INACCESSIBLE LAYERS OF EMPTINESS; ALL AROUND ME, PORNOGRAPHY SHOWS EVERYTHING WHILE DISPLAYING NOTHINGNESS: PHOTOGRAPHY CONTINUES TO BE INEFFECTIVE BECAUSE IT ALLOWS ME TO PRETEND TO BE MYSELF, WHEREAS ANONYMOUS PAIN IS THE ONLY REALITY;  IMAGES DON’T ESCAPE THE REALM OF CONSENSUS BECAUSE THEY PERVERT MEANING BUT RESPECT THE STATUS OF SENSE; WHAT’S LEFT IS THE CONFINED TIME OF ORGASM AND PHYSIOLOGICAL CHAOS: INFINITY DIES OFF; TRIGGERING AN UNKNOWN GIRL’S DESIRE, ALL SEXUALITY ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED; I INHALE THE CBP ON A PIECE OF ALUMINUM FOIL AND THE GIRL LIFTS HER SKIRT, SHOWING ME HER VAGINA; THE TWO CANNIBAL BODIES ON THE BED ARE GETTING READY TO SPILL INTO EACH OTHER; I LOOK AT SKIN DEFECTS, AT OUR DISORDERLY MOVEMENTS; THE GIRL MASTURBATES, RUBS HER HOLE AGAINST MY PENIS VIOLENTLY; TWISTS CONVULSIVELY, HER HOARSE VOICE  BREAKS INTO A GROAN, HER BODY COLLAPSES, WRITHING IN EXPLICIT POSES, SHE SEEMS HALLUCINATED, REMAINS INACCESSIBLE;  OUR BODIES ARE BRUISED; THE GIRL SMILES IN CHILLING SILENCE, TREMBLES, KNEELS, I OPEN HER SLOT WITH BOTH HANDS, PUT MY LIPS ON HER OPEN WOUND; IN THE BRUTAL EMBRACE, MOUTHS MINGLE IN CLUMSY MOVEMENTS; THE GIRL SEARCHES FOR STREAMS OF FLUIDS AND SMELLS; HER EYES ROLLED BACK, VAGUE GESTURES, MY BODY CONVULSING; THE GIRL DRAWS MY FACE AGAINST HER STOMACH; CONFUSION, FORGETFULNESS; IMAGES BURNED BY LIGHT; THE SMELL OF CBP; THROUGH THE WINDOW, THE HOLLOW SKY, THE SHINY STARS, THE TREMBLING CITY LIGHTS; FACING HER FACE UNTIL DAWN; CONDEMNED TO WANDER THROUGH A MAZE OF MIRRORS THAT REVEAL REAL LIFE BUT KEEP IT OUT OF REACH, BREAKING IT THROUGH AN INFINITY OF SEPARATIONS; THE DAEMON OF DOUBT IN MY VEINS; AND PLEASURE WHICH OPENS A FLAW INTO BARBARISM OR HER PRESENCE; I LAY THERE, HAVING EVERY REASON NOT TO MOVE AND TO SMOKE THE LAST DOSE OF CBP, DECIPHERING REALITY AROUND ME AS WELL AS I CAN, BETWEEN FACTS AND WITHERING VISIONS; UNCOVERING COMMON AND CONTRADICTORY FEELINGS BETWEEN THE REALITY OF OUR POSITIONS IN THE ROOM AND THE IDEA OF MYTH, FUELED BY THE DRUG; OUR FLESH SATIATED, NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING ANYMORE; LIFE TAKING THE UPPER HAND OVER OUR WILL; THE FEMALE FIGURE BEFORE ME LIKE ONE MORE PRIESTESS OF THE LAST PAGAN RELIGION, DEVOTING EMPTY NIGHTS TO THE SOLIDARITY OF FLESH AND THE CURSE OF REASON; THE SPECTACLE OF OUR PROSTRATION BEING INFLICTED UPON US;  WE, AS VICTIMS, ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FATE BEING FORCED UPON US: NO WAY OUT OF THE ROOM, NO WAY OUT FAR FROM EACH OTHER; GRASPING AT FRAGMENTS OF ILLUSORY REALITIES AND CONVEYING A DESPERATELY NARROW EXPERIENCE OF THE WORLD; THROUGH DESIRE FOR HUMANITY, IN THE PROCESS OF FICTIONALIZING UNATTAINABLE TRUTHS, HOPING TO FIND THE COURAGE TO HOLD ON, FIND OURSELVES STUCK IN FAKE SPACES THAT DISSOLVE INTO THEIR MERE REPRESENTATION; THE DRUG DRAINS THE COURSE OF  CHAOTIC ACTIONS THAT SLIP ON THE SMOOTH AND HERMETIC SURFACE OF THE NIGHT; MEANING SEEMS ERADICATED; I PHOTOGRAPH, REPRODUCE MY EMPTY REFLECTION ENDLESSLY, HYPNOTIZED BY THE INEXORABLE FLOW OF  THE SHAMS THAT LONELINESS PROVOKES, LOST IN A VENOMOUS AND FATAL CONTEMPLATION OF THE PROMISCUITY OF FLESH; IMAGES BORN OUT OF IMAGES, OUT OF DESPAIR, BECOMING THE CONDITION OF MY OWN DISSOLUTION; / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: (Aucun objet) – Date: 16 janvier 2013 02:03:13 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – una frase de Freya Stark, una mujer nómade-viajera : «El alma humana se marchita bajo la honradez estéril» / miles de besos, mi lindo antoine / nina – / NEAR THE CASINO, GO ACROSS THE BRIDGE AND EAST 2 BLOCKS THEN TURN RIGHT AND JUST LOOK FOR SIGN ABOVE ENTRYWAY. PRICES: 7.000. TEL: 32-271 -0230. HOURS: 24. – CHILENAS FANTASTICAS VIÑA,VALPARAISO 309, TERCER PISO. PRICES: 10.000. TEL: 32-2881444.HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / June 2008 – Phnom Penh; I hide out with Bopal and Lin in an anonymous hotel; we’re easy targets: pornography’s illegal, urine tests are common; I leave Phnom Penh in the morning and fall apart in Bangkok later the same day: night, long blows on the hotel room door, hospital, dehydration, liver abscess, genital sores, fever amoebiasis.  / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: Rép: Réponse en cas d’absence – Date: 18 février 2013 22:07:09 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – voy a hacer una obra con la diversidad de respuestas automáticas, todas en distintas fechas. / a mi modo de ver la vida, hasta resulta poético – 2013/2/19 < a@hotmail.com > – Auto reply / I am currently away from my email. / until March 16th, I will be checking my mail box only periodically. / for any inquiries or emergency please contact magnum photos, paris. / and / or / due to continued traveling and saturated mail box, / I have not been able to answer your last message, / and will not be able to respond any time soon. / with my apologies, / best, / A. A. / 3 CHICAS AND 1 PIMP. SAD LOOKING PLACE. CHICAS WERE WORTH NOT A CENT MORE THEN THE ONES IN SAUNA RELAX / ASKING X 6 THE PRICE ONLY 1 BLOCK DOWN THE ROAD. / MODELOS, ALTISIMO NIVEL, 30. 000, SOLO HOTELES, DOMICILIO, 099621072 HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / MARCELITA, EXCELENTE NIVEL, AMBIENTE, CALIDO, 25.000 ATENCIÓN VIÑA CENTRO, 89853566 / ATENCIÓN PERSONALIZADA, CALEFACCIONADO. 08/8635033. VIÑA. /Thursday, November 26th, 2009 – Angkor girl says: you change hotel every day, you do not tell anyone where you live; fear decides for you; the police are looking for you; dealers want to hurt you… be faithful to the drug; I’ll forget you and you’ll forget me too; I can die; I often think you must be sick too; I’m going then, and I’m scared for you; yama shows the way; sex is in our thoughts, it is the path we take; it is a dark path, because yama gives strength, but that strength is uncontrollable, takes us into chaos; joy and fear will disappear; emptiness will stay, unbearable; do not be alone when fear is with you; because you are alone, you can’t afford to think; any gesture is better than thought; many people have cut their veins; all they wanted was to feel, once again; they smoked yama and their body became dark and smelly; they smoked ice and their body became pale and odorless; but because we are not scared, we can play; it is our last choice; because we cannot do anything against death; don’t forget; we live with the memory of those who have gone, of those the disease took away; they smoked yama because they didn’t know they would die; we smoke yama because we don’t know when we’ll die… / QUILPUE QUILPUE PROMOCION DÍA, 10.000, 13.000, TARJETAS CRÉDITO, 13. 000, 2986099. HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / 50.000, 1 HORA, REÑAQUINAS, HORARIO CONTINUADO. 090503369 HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / 2 CALL SYSTEM. / CALL NUMBER GIVES YO CROSS STREET AND CALL ONCE IN THAT AREA. ONCE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, CALL WILL REVEAL EXACT ADDRESS. / SAUNA RELAX AT ABOUT MIDNIGHT. / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: verte… – Date: 15 avril 2013 14:47:27 UTC-05:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – ¿cómo estás? / ¿qué es de tu vida? / besos – / Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 – in Angkor, I meet Thy and one of her customers; she says Ka threw herself from the third floor of a building in Phnom Penh but is still alive, hospitalized near her family’s village and, after weeks of withdrawal, slit her wrists and survived second suicide attempt – / Saturday, November 10th 2012. Valparaíso. PCDV / 9:30 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M.. LIBERTY BAR. CBP. IN THE BEGINNING STOOD THE  SUBLIME ETHIC OF ACTION, THE WAILING OF TORN-APART INNOCENT BODIES: I TRY TO RIP THE VERY SUBSTANCE OF MY WORDS OUT OF MY LIFE, ABSORB THE WORLD, GET LOST IN MY OWN FEARS, FACE THE BRUTALITY OF FACTS AND GIVE WAY TO THE HOLD OF THE FLESH; FOR THE SAKE OF HONESTY, I PRACTICE ART AS A MARTIAL ART, TAKE THE PAIN, DENY THE FEARS, LIVE UP TO THE TRIVIAL BEAUTY OF EXPERIENCE; ART’S JUST A SOURCE OF MOVEMENT AND  IMBALANCE; BECAUSE PAROXYSM IS THE CONDITION OF ALL DECENT HUMAN BEHAVIOR, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP KILLING ONESELF; BUT DYING LIKE A MAN IS NOT POSSIBLE EITHER; TO KILL MY CHARACTER WOULD NOT BE NOT ENOUGH TO SILENCE THE VOICE OF ART, OR TO GIVE CONSTITENCY TO THE HARMFUL SCREAM OF LIFE – DESPITE EVERYTHING, DESPITE MYSELF, BECAUSE I ANNOUNCE MY ACTIONS AND WITNESS THEM, FICTION KEEPS ME FROM ERADICATING MYSELF, FROM DEGRADING THE WORK OF ART,  FROM ATTAINING WHAT CANNOT BE SHOWN – THE VICTIM WOULD NOT BE A MAN BUT A WORD, A NAME: THERE COMES A POINT WHERE EVERYTHING IS USED, AND EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE; I CAN PROSTITUTE MY DEATH AND MAKE IT AN OBJECT; THE ONLY CHOICE LEFT IS TO KEEP SEARCHING FOR EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE OF THE EFFECT OF CBP ON THE CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM; THROUGH THE PLASTIC PASTEURIZED MILK BOTTLE  THAT STANDS ON THE TABLE, THROUGH THE POTENTIAL NEUROTOXIC SUBSTANCE THAT INDUCES NEURONAL DEATH TO THE POINT OF NEURONS BEING ERADICATED; IGNORING  FEELINGS THAT OVERWHELM MEN WHO WITNESS THE HORROR; I HAVE NO STRENGTH LEFT TO DEPICT IN PRECISE AND ARBITRARY WAYS THE UNBEARABLE POWER OF THOSE WHO DON’T OWN ANYTHING, TO ESTABLISH SOME CHAOTIC AND BIASED SOCIOLOGY OF ECSTASY; THE ONLY POSSIBLE STRATEGY LEFT WOULD BE TO AIM AT REACHING PLEASURE UNTIL I FALL UNCONSCIOUS, AS A WAY TO HIT BACK A WORLD THAT DENIES FREE BEINGS EVERY RIGHT; PLEASURE AS A MERE STATE OF SENSATION AND TENSION; HOOKED ON ADRENALINE, NARCOTIC DRUNKENNESS, ERRATIC SENSATIONS; NOT TO THINK, TO ERASE THOUGHTS; COMING, STAYING HIGH, REDUCING CONSCIOUSNESS, MAINTAINING A BARE STATE OF PANIC; INNOCENCE RESTS ON ACCEPTANCE, ON EXPERIMENTATION; WHOEVER DEVIATES FROM REASONABLE BEHAVIOR IS GUILTY OF SOCIAL PATHOLOGY AND LOVE, MADNESS, RAGE, ECSTASY, ALL THE PRIVILEGED VECTORS OF DEVIANCE DRAGGED US RIGHT DOWN INTO THE ABYSS; OUT THERE, UNDER COLD SUNLIGHT, INSIDIOUS AND BANAL ALIENATION IS THE NORM; THOSE, DEFEATED BY THE IMPERATIVES OF PRODUCTION, WHO HAVE RENOUNCED THE ATTEMPT TO BREAK THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF CONTEMPLATION, STAGNATE IN A PERMANENT STATE OF PAINLESS CRAVING; THE ONLY WAY OUT IS ACTION, REGENERATION OF DESIRE: SHATTERING PASSIVITY AND COMPROMISE, LEARNING AUTONOMOUS GESTURES ALL OVER AGAIN, FORGING MISERABLE DESTINIES OUT OF DESPAIR, / SAUNA RELAX, AVENIDA VALPARAISO 223. CHICAS. PRICES: AND UP AND UP. TEL: 32-27 0230. HOURS: 24 / 7 GIRLS: 7/10 BUT PRICE IS 25000 FOR AN HOUR… GIRL FROM PARAGUAY #REPLY / SAUNAS AT 200-300 VALPARAISO / NO NAME OF THE MASSAGE PLACE. THIRD FLOOR. 2 GIRLS AVAILABLE AT 7PM, ONE BLACK FROM COLOMBIA THE OTHER WHITE/LATINO. / Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 – Phnom Penh; despite  warnings, I travel to Phnom Penh, come to grips with past mistakes, conduct inquiries: a bodyguard costs 350 dollars here and to kill someone, 300; find people to take me to the White Cobra; Ka’s there, trying to hide, crouching behind the counter; I approach her, hold my breath; she says she never wanted to see me again, then she laughs; she’s allowed her hair to grow and her wrists are bandaged; through the magic powers of a plastic Buddha, she is invincible, she speaks softly: after we split, I went with  dealer… I fly, fly until I drop… police want me to give names… I was stuck… both sides… only way out was to jump… we drive to the Martini; the toothless vendors outside the club touch her fingertips to ensure she’s no spirit; later, Yan brings ice to the hotel room and prepares a water pipe; Ka vomits at the sight of the transparent crystals, lies on her stomach, face buried in the pillow; Antoine’s good, Yang whispers, but not for you… later, a long wail – tears, hiccups; Ka accepts a dose of MDMA, brought with me from Europe; movements are slow; nothing will ever satisfy our hunger; Ka’s legs bend, loose skin and bony edges; my whole being pressed onto hers, lost in the folds of her body; her mouth swallows yellow fluids, sodomy, terrible apotheosis of flesh; too much is not enough… / 30,000 FOR HALF HOUR AND 60,000 FOR AN HOUR / VALPARAISO: SAUNA ACONDICIONADO. THE NICEST PLACE OF THE TWO AND ALSO THE CHEAPEST. 2 GIRLS AVAILABLE AT 7PM, ONE BLACK AND ONE CUTE LOCAL GIRL, 20-23 YEARS OLD, BODY WAS NOT GREAT BUT STILL NICE: PERKY NATURAL TITS AND JUST SLIGHTLY TRIMMED PUSSY. 25,000 FOR AN HOUR OF MASSAGE AND SEX. GIRL IS VERY FRIENDLY, SLIGHTLY SHY. MORE SEXY MASSAGE WITH KISSES ON MOUTH AND ORAL WITH CONDOM AND THEN SEX IN A COUPLE OF POSITIONS. NOTHING SUPER SPECIAL BUT NICE AND WORTH THE MONEY. / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: siento – Date: 30 avril 2013 18:20:28 UTC-05:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – ¿cuándo será? / Friday, December 4th, 2009 – Phnom Penh; Ka expertly slips on her dress; a car is waiting outside to take her back to her village; before she leaves, she says she has AIDS; her eyes are empty / HTTP: //WWW. AMAZONASONLINE.CL. / CHICAS. PRICES: 10000 AND UP AND UP. TEL: 32-27 0230. HOURS: 24 / SUBIDA ECUADOR BARS – ALL THE BARS AT SUBIDA ECUADOR CLOSED: AT 10PM / PRETTY DECENT, GIRLS 3-7 IN QUALITY, MOSTLY 3-5. BEERS 2.000 PRIVATE DRINK WITH GIRL DOUBLE THE PRICE, SHE WILL KISS YOU AND LET YOU TOUCH BREASTS AND BUM. / VERY PRIVATE DANCE FOR 10.000: BIG TITS AND ASS: 10 MINUTES, CAN TOUCH EVERYWHERE BUT NO BJ OR HANDJOB, 10.000 OR 15.000. VERY SEXY. / MAKEUP, NAILS AND CLOTHES. NO SILICONE WHATSOEVER. GIRLS ARE LOVELY AND TAKE A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR APPEARANCE. / Sunday, November 11, 2012 . DRUNKEN SEAMEN ON A SHORT LEAVE IN VALPARAISO; THE PLACE IS MERELY A CONCEPT, A STATE OF MIND, AN IDEAL TERRITORY OF FADED BEAUTY, A NARROW LUSH ENCLOSED GARDEN WITH A SCARCITY OF DRUGS AND GIRLS; I FOUND ONLY MY OWN REFLECTION IN THE DEPTH OF SEVEN HOLLOW MIRRORS; A POOR MOCKERY OF HEAVEN, PARADISE MINUS CLOUDS, HARPS AND ANGELS; TIME STANDS STILL: THE CRACKHEADS WHO HANG AROUND THE LIBERTY BAR LIVE IN DEATH WHAT WE’VE DREAMT IN LIFE AND THE CBP LEAVES WAKES OF DEAD BODIES AND SHATTERED DESTINIES  WHEREVER IT FLOWS; TANIA RUNS BASE FOR ME AND WHISPERS: QUANDO MAS NECESSITAS SOMBRA, MI SOMBRA ES TUYA… NO ATTEMPT TO PHOTOGRAPH, INABILITY TO PROVOKE ANY TYPE OF INTER-PENETRATION BETWEEN PHOTOGRAPHIC LANGUAGE AND SITUATIONS THAT GENERATE IT; THE ONLY IMAGES I PRODUCE PARASITIZE REALITY, AND CAN’T WITHSTAND THE URGENCY, RECKLESSNESS AND INCONSISTENCY OF FACTS: ART PROVES AGAIN TO BE INEFFICIENT, OR INADEQUATE, BUT I’M LEFT WITH THE CERTAINTY THAT  EXPERIENCING WORLD EXCESSES AND CONFLICTS GENERATES DEVASTATING CONSCIENCE AND DIGNITY; STRIVING TO TURN BRUTALITY INTO STRENGTH, LIVING IN THE GRIP OF PASSION AND PAIN BECAUSE THEY MAKE THE STATE OF THINGS MORE PERCEPTIBLE; ON THE TV SET, A GENERALIZED MYTHIFICATION OF PLEASURE, GLORIFIED TO THE POINT WHERE IT BECOMES INACCESSIBLE: SOPHISTICATED METHODS OF MENTAL CONTROL, FORCES OF ENTERTAINMENT AND PROPAGANDA BRAINWASHING MINDS INTO THE MOST ABJECT FORMS OF ABSTRACTION: MIND RECREATION, CONSUMPTION, MASS COMMUNICATION, RELIGIOUS HYPNOSIS, DEMOCRATIC CYBERNETICS, ECONOMY SEMIOLOGY, AN IDEOLOGICAL SPECTACLE AIMED AT ENSURING THE REGENERATION OF SLAVERY, DISTILLED AND RECYCLED UNTIL IT REACHES THE SPIRIT OF THE CONSUMER AND ANNIHILATES THE RAW INSTINCTS OF SURVIVAL; AS ALIENATION INTENSIFIES, HORROR ARISES FROM MONSTROUS SOCIAL RAPPORTS THAT FORM THE HEART OF THE ECONOMY: SEEDS OF DEATH, PAIN THAT SWALLOWS PAIN, ACCEPTANCE IS THE NAUSEATING SECRET OF HUMAN MISERY: I LET MYSELF BE CONTAMINATED BY THE CBP; POISON BECOMES THE ANTIDOTE; BEING IS NOT ENOUGH, LOVING IS NOT ENOUGH , THINKING IS NOT ENOUGH, SUFFERING IS NOT ENOUGH; THERE ARE ONLY THE COMMON DENOMINATORS OF A HUMANITY NEEDING TO BE RECONSTRUCTED… I’M WIRED, CHASING THE WHITE JUNK, MY BODY SUFFERING THE MOST INSIDIOUS FORMS OF MENTAL AND PHYSICAL EROSION, AGONIZING WITHIN THE GRACE OF HORROR, RUNNING ON EMPTY IN CHAOTIC AND ERRATIC WANDERING, CONTINUOUSLY DOUBTING, GETTING THROUGH SHORT AND STERILE PERIODS OF WITHDRAWAL, WAITING FOR THE CHEMICAL VIOLENCE TO ACCENTUATE, ERASING MEANING AND MEMORY OF INSIGNIFICANT PERSONAL EXPERIENCES… ONLY THE INFAMOUS COMMUNITY OF WHORES IS ALL THAT’S LEFT OUT THERE, BECAUSE ONLY THEY KNOW THE LAST MAGIC RITUAL, SENTENCE OF THE FLESH, EROTIC AND LUCID EXPECTATION OF DEATH, ULTIMATE ATTEMPT AT REBELLION AGAINST THE MORONIC ACCUMULATION OF MERCHANDISE… / Problem: by what means could a strict form of major contagious nihilism be obtained: one which, with all due scientific probity, teaches and performs willful death… (and not the art of merely continuing to vegetate in anticipation of some kind of fallacious «afterlife» -). Fredrick Nietzsche, Last Notebooks, 1888. / Paraíso – Monday, November 12th, 2012 – … smoking CBP on the aluminum cap of a plastic pasteurized milk bottle… crime deep-rooted pleasure… in the face of laborious moralities and well-to-do humanist-conscience metaphysical affirmations…  addictions converging to the point of murder… unbridled violence against all forms of civility and reason… reach for the heart of sensation… observe the extinction of breath and wear of the organs… searching for a possible strategy to oppose the many falsifications that propagate death… smoking CBP on the aluminum cap of the plastic pasteurized milk bottle… time collapses… the orgiastic matter undertaking the destruction of men… LUN 12NOV – SANTIAGO CL – PARIS FR – 1720 – 1100 – AIR FRANCE – AF 401 – A MERINO BENITEZ CHARLES DE GAULLE – 13NOV – DIRECTO – TERMINAL 2E – DURACION 13:40 – RESERVA CONFIRMADA – ECONOMICO – DUENO DE AVION: AF AIR FRANCE – TRIPULACION DEL COCKPIT: AF AIR FRANCE – TRIPULACION DE CABINA: AF AIR FRANCE – TIPO DE EQUIPO: BOEING 777-300ER – ASIENTO 26H NO FUMADOR CONFIRMADO. / Her nobles shall be no more, nor shall kings be proclaimed there; all her princes are gone./ Her castles shall be overgrown with thorns, her fortresses with thistles and briers. / She shall become an abode for jackals and a haunt for ostriches. / Wildcats shall meet with desert beasts, satyrs shall call to one another; / There shall the Lilith repose, and find for herself a place to rest. / Isaiah, 34:14 / TOTALLY SHAVED PUSSY. #REPLY MASSAGE WORLDTRAVEL69…

 

Antoine d’Agata, Valparaíso 2012

El Último Espejo. / Todo aquel que atraviesa el corredor del Miedo / llega fatalmente al Último Espejo / donde una mujer abrazada a tu esqueleto nos muestra / cara a cara el infierno de los ojos sellados / de los ojos cerrados para siempre como en una máscara / de muerta representando en el más allá el teatro último: / así miré yo a los ojos que borraron mi alma / así he mirado yo un día que no existe en el Último Espejo / L. M. Panero, El Último Espejo, Teoría, 1973 – EDEN – Monday, November 12th, 2012 – Valparaíso; smoking CBP on aluminum cap of plastic pasteurized milk bottle; CBP unveils instinct and freezes will; secret river purifies men from death and tirelessly sweeps them away to some lost paradise abounding in lascivious demons; addiction takes my pain hostage and feeds itself on it; I live in those contaminated bodies and end by them; through silence, desire rises to the rank of pure irony, insane promise of a paradise they call evil. – VALPARAISO – HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO – #REPLY – VALPARAISO / CASAS – JENNYS, AVENIDA FRANCIA 627, OFF INDEPENDENCIA. TEL: 900 47958. / BAR PUDETO 443. / CLUB SCANDINAVIAN, ON COCHRANE A FEW BLOCKS FROM PRAT MONUMENT. / LEO BAR, SUBIDA ECUADOR 24. / EL TRIUNFO, SUBIDA ECUADOR 27. TEL: (56-32) 257428. / LODEVI, SUBIDA ECUADOR 34. TEL: (56-32) 224217. / MR. EGG, SUBIDA ECUADOR 50. – CHICAS. TEL: (56-32) 257534. HOURS: – / LIVERPOOL, ECUADOR 130. CHICAS. HOURS / EL MEZON CON Z PUB, INTERIOR PASEO COUSIÑO. CHICAS. PRICES: -. TEL: (56-32) 690494. / es mucho vagabundeo, / estar sentado debajo de un árbol en cualquier parte. / es un andar solo por el universo. / uno nuevamente empieza a mirar, / el mundo convencional te pone un biombo, / hay que salir de él durante el período de fotografía. / S. Larrain. / de: l@gmail.com – objet: rép. – date: 12 novembre 2012 10:48:54 utc-06:00 – à: a@hotmail.com – te espero en valparaíso / ya quiero otro abrazo tuyo – / October 31st, 2012 – Valparaíso. / SERVICIO – DE – A – SALIDA – LLEGADA – AIR FRANCE – AF 406 – MAR 30 OCT – PARIS FR – SANTIAGO CL – 2320 – 0930 – 31 OCT – DIRECTO – TERMINAL 2E – DURACION 14:10 – RESERVA CONFIRMADA- ECONOMICO – DUENO DE AVION: AF AIR FRANCE – TRIPULACION DEL COCKPIT: AF AIR FRANCE – TRIPULACION DE CABINA: AF  AIR FRANCE – TIPO DE EQUIPO: BOEING 777 – 200 / 200 ER – ASIENTO 30G NO FUMADOR CONFIRMADO – LA INFORMACIÓN CONTENIDA EN ESTA TRANSMISIÓN ES CONFIDENCIAL Y NO PUEDE SER USADA O DIFUNDIDA POR PERSONAS DISTINTAS A SU(S) DESTINATARIO(S). EL USO NO AUTORIZADO DE LA INFORMACIÓN CONTENIDA EN ESTE CORREO PUEDE SER SANCIONADO CRIMINALMENTE DE CONFORMIDAD CON LA LEY CHILENA. SI HA RECIBIDO UN CORREO POR ERROR, POR FAVOR DESTRÚYALO Y NOTIFIQUE AL REMITENTE. / FRIDAY, NOVEMBER 2ND 2012 / SUNDAY, NOVEMBER 4TH 2012: PARQUE CULTURAL DE VALPARAÍSO (PCDV) – MONDAY, NOVEMBER 5TH: PCDV/ 9:30 A.M. – 6:00 P.M. LIBERTY BAR. FLAMINGO ROSA, CAFÉ BORA, PAN DE AZUCAR – PASTA BASE: 500 PESOS PER DOSE. 15 DOSES. / MORNING: HOTEL / INTERNET: EXHAUSTION OF REAL-TIME COMMUNICATION; DRUG ALTERS STATE OF CONSCIOUSNESS, MOOD, FEELINGS, BEHAVIOR, MOTIVATIONS AND THOUGHT PROCESSES. COCAINE BASE PASTE (CBP); FAVORED BECAUSE OF ECONOMIC CRISIS, LOW COST, AND LACK OF OTHER DRUGS LIKE COCAINE, PROGRESSIVE INCREASE IN PRESENCE OF CBP ON STREET MARKET; FEATURES SUCH AS HIGH DEPENDANCE, ASSOCIATION WITH HIGH-IMPULSE BEHAVIORS, AGGRESSIVENESS, BREAKING OF SOCIAL CODES GIVE IT HIGH VISIBILITY; I SMOKE IT IN AN ALUMINUM CRYSTAL CAN; EUPHORIA AND EXCITEMENT LAST A FEW SECONDS, URGE TO SMOKE IS UNCONTROLLABLE; AFTER A WHILE PRODUCT INSTILLS FEAR IN MIND: ANXIETY DEPRESSION, SELF-DESTRUCTIVE RAGE; PARANOIA SEEMS IRREVERSIBLE; BUT I AM SUBJECT TO THE SAME CONSTANT OBSESSIONS; EACH THOUGHT LIKE A MENTAL TOXIN, POISONOUS SUBSTANCE PRODUCED WITHIN LIVING CELLS OR ORGANISMS; THE WORD TOXIN DOES NOT SPECIFY METHOD OF DELIVERY; IT SIMPLY MEANS IT IS A BIOLOGICALLY PRODUCED POISON BUT THOUGHTS AIN’T BIOLOGICAL IN ANY WAY; SECONDARY EFFECTS: IMPURE IMAGES, ASSOCIATIONS THE BRAIN NO LONGER CENSORS, UNCHANGING AND CONFINED SPACE OF THE ROOM; CONTEMPLATING PSYCHOTIC SPECTACLE OF PIXELATED WORLD ON THE COMPUTER SCREEN: EVERY WORD BECOMES PROPAGANDA: CONSTANT PLEASURE HAS TAKEN THE PLACE OF ETERNAL LIFE BUT THE LIE IS SIMILAR; IN THE OVERRIDING INTEREST OF ORDER, GLOBAL ANESTHESIA IS ADMINISTERED AT THE POWERFUL REQUEST OF COWARDLY AND TREMBLING MASSES: EDUCATION, PRESS, CINEMA, ART, LITERATURE, POLITICS AND BUSINESS AT THE SERVICE OF THOSE WHO MANAGE WORKERS / CONSUMER STOCKS, FLESH FLOW AND SURPLUS; THE IDEA OF DEATH IS DISINFECTED, COVERED UP, RELEGATED TO PHILOSOPHY WHEREAS IT IS THE CONDITION AND MEANS FOR HUMAN EXISTENCE; PUBLICITY AND ‘SPECTACLE’ DEVOTE ALL EFFORTS TOWARDS ERADICATION OF THEIR PRESENCE WHILST PUBLIC INFORMATION LOAD THEM WITH SOCIAL, MEDICAL AND MILITARY SYMBOLISM, MAKING THEM ALL THE MORE ABSTRACT; MEANWHILE CBP EATS AWAY AT THE MIND AND ATTACKS THE BODY WITHOUT RESPITE; PROCLAMATION OF TRUTH MADE THROUGH THE DECOMPOSITION OF LIFE; NEW FORM OF BEAUTY BEING LIVED IN OUR BODIES, TO BETTER PROPAGATE DEATH; / December 30th, 2007 – Phnom Penh: on street 51′ post-genocidal murky territory, lustful Lilim lure lost men to vice and death through sickening scents of ice and Yama; in that theater of sordid illusions, all sense of humanity is undermined by spread of artificial molecules that are cheap to produce and acquire, cancel sleep, hunger, fatigue and thought; I sense the unbearable coldness of that invisible community of devious survivors searching for darkness in excess; drug effects provoke a state of dangerous precision and concentration of thought bordering on obsession and paranoia; a hundred of those junkies die every day; others destroy all traces of lost innocence in ultimate fits of survival rage; Ka’s one of them, is known as a taxi-girl, works meters away from the White Cobra, hiding her nastiness in the dark; two simple lines of eyeliner mark her glassy eyes; her eyebrows and skull have been methodically shaved; a fake wig covers her bald head; she traps customers too drunk to worry about the blue stain that wraps around her left eye and wrinkles the skin of her cheek; I know she belongs to a drug dealer ; I’ve been warned about the risks incurred by those who approach her but I take her anyway; there are no negotiations, no superfluous words; only the empty room, her legs wide open, her hard belly, muscles twisting in nervous tension; her body’s there to be taken, her beauty’s hiding behind the cruel outline of her distant smile, her flesh is warm, she spits, sucks, licks, pants like an animal, her rough tongue wraps around my cock, time jams – I still don’t know that ice dictates her actions; she fucks me until blood exhausts my nerves and consciousness; I foresee another possible relationship: possess her in her sleep  and photograph her endlessly, capturing nothing but the smooth surface of her still figure; drunk from lust, shaking the flesh of her inert body through my skinned cock and come into the slight opening of eyelids that shiver under the effect of the amphetamine; she wakes up, I promise to come back… / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: (Aucun objet) – Date:14 novembre 2012 14:00:26 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – pensé en llamarte, pero no me animé. / me pregunto cómo estarás. / quisiera contarte tantas cosas… / ¿tendremos la alegría de volver a vernos pronto? / seguís en mí. / te mando muchos besos – / LENNON PUB, INTERIOR PASEO COUSIÑO. / SCRATCH DISCOTHEQUE, BOHN 970. / AMAZONAS ON-LINE EXCLUSIVO, PRIVACIDAD, ATENCIÓN EXTRANJEROS, CONTINUADO.(32)2902450 / BARBARA’S, VIÑA CENTRO, 30.000, 40.000, 96006057 HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO – 25000 1 HR, GREAT TIME IN BED, RESPONSIVE, PRETTY FACE. /january 11th, 2007 – Phnom Penh; I arrive at her apartment, near Psar Thmey market; outside, at the foot of the building, an entire family sleeps under a tarp; you have to step over them to reach the door; light no longer works in stairs; obscure deals take place in shit-caked room; dealers come; I smoke and have to leave the room at irregular intervals; dealers leave; Ka and I smoke: regular consumption determines new psychological boundaries, new feelings, new types of insomnia, new realities; time is punctuated by three-phase cycle of methamphetamine: flash, load, collapse; after several days of uninterrupted hysterical sleeplessness, collapse periods become identifiable as such; Ka’s fucked up, leads me into forbidden territories; the room, the White Cobra, the Heart of Darkness – a cursed triangle haunted by dealers, whores, pimps, corrupt cops and sly customers; will slows to a stop; destruction becomes slow agony; life suspends in pleasure; Ka repeats: too much is not enough! The drug flows through me, irrigates the lungs, the brain, blood fills the penis; we fuck, Ka whispers: never like this before! Our two bodies lonely in the empty space of a room; / Tuesday, November 6th 2012. Valparaíso. PCDV: 9:30 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M. HOTEL. CBP. THROUGH WINDOW, CITY SEEMS TO SLEEP UNDER VEIL OF COLD ASHES; I GET LOST IN THE EMPTINESS THAT DEVOURS BODY FROM THE INSIDE; CBP’S A MEANINGFUL EXPRESSION OF THE GEOMETRIC MADNESS OF THE WORLD, OF THE DETERMINATION WITH WHICH MEN UNDERTAKE TO DESTROY MEN, TO DESTROY THEM AS MEN BEFORE MAKING THEM DIE SLOWLY; TONIGHT, ALICIA (GIRL IN THE BROTHEL) SEEMED TO HAVE FORGOTTEN HER NAME AND THE STRENGTH TO REMEMBER; SHE SEES HERSELF AS A SLAVE, PRISONER OF A PAIN TOO OLD STILL TO BE MOURNED – EVERY DAY, SHE DIES; FASCINATED, UNDER THE BLACK LIGHT IN CLUB PARAÍSO, BY THE SILENCE OF HER SMOOTH STILL BODY; INFECTIOUS DEATH SQUIRTED ON THE FACE OF INNOCENCE;  NOW, IN THE ROOM, SMOKE MINGLES WITH BLOOD AND STRETCHES THE VEINS, MUSCLES, ORGANS; NEURONS VANISH INTO THE INTOXICATION; HANGING FROM THE CEILING, WHITE NEON LIGHT; UNDER THE SKIN, SCABIES, TINY MITES CRAWLING; MAYBE THE NERVES, THE UGLY FEAR THAT GRADUALLY SUBSIDES INTO A DEADLY LAUGHTER; THESE ARE THE SYMPTOMS, ADVANCE OF SCABIES, PROMISCUOUS SKIN INCREASES RISK OF SCABIES? HOW TO DIAGNOSE IT? HOW DO YOU TREAT SCABIES? CAN I GET THE SCABIES MITES OUT OF MY CLOTHES? WHAT MEDICINES WILL I NEED TO TAKE? HAND-MADE PIPE FEEDS THE CONTINUING CYCLE OF COLD DOSES; THERE IS NO ELSEWHERE, THERE WILL BE NO MORE ELSEWHERE; TIRELESS WAKEFULNESS: COLD GEOGRAPHY OF SENSES – THE PRICE OF MEMORY, THE PRICE OF COMPLICITY; LOVE SEEMS NO MORE THAN SOPHISTICATED COMMUNICATION; CONSUMPTION / ADDICTION / SACRIFICE: MOUTH SPELLS OUT THE SUBSTANCE’S NAME, LUNGS BREATHE OUT OF THE GLASS TUBE: CBP, THE INTERMEDIATE PRODUCT IN THE EXTRACTION PROCESS / PURIFICATION OF COCAINE HYDROCHLORIDE: ACCORDING TO THE SCREEN, THE PROCESS INCLUDES DRYING AND CRUSHING COCA LEAVES, ADDING KEROSENE, AMMONIA, SULFURIC ACID, FILTERING, ADDING HYDROCHLORIC ACID, POTASSIUM PERMANGANATE, FILTERING, DRYING, OBTAINING CC. ERITROXYLUM COCAINE, DISSOLVING IN WATER, TREATING AGAIN WITH KEROSENE OR DIESEL, SULFURIC ACID AND AMMONIA, FILTERING TO OBTAIN YELLOWISH OR GRAYISH SEMI-SOLID MIXTURE; WHILE THE SMOKE SCRAPES THE THROAT, RUMORS OF THE STILL CITY BECOME DULL FURY; ANOTHER DOSE OF THE VOID; TONIGHT IN THE BROTHEL,THE GIRL MENTIONED BOHEMIA: TRUTH DRIPPING GENTLY BETWEEN HER LIPS; ENTIRELY ORGANIZED AROUND THE DENIAL OF COMMUNITY, THE ABJECT LOGIC OF RENTABILITY IS REGISTERED IN FLESH AND MINDS THROUGH ABSOLUTE CONTROL OF TIME; BODIES OF THE WORKERS NO LONGER CONFRONTED WITH THE ORDER OF THINGS BUT INTEGRATED INTO IT: CRUELEST IMAGINABLE FORM OF HUMILIATION, OF PHYSICAL EXTERMINATION; THE ANTIDOTE IS SENSATION: DESIRE, EXCESS, ASSERTION OF INSANITY TO WARD OFF SUBMISSION AND FEAR; ALICIA ASKS ME TO WAIT FOR HER TO END HER SHIFT; WHITE DAMP POWDER BEING INHALED UNTIL DAWN; LIFE SEEMS ABSENT FOREVER; THE LOGIC OF THOUGHT EXPRESSES THE MURDEROUS TRUTH OF THE GLOBAL ORDER – THOUGHTS AND CONSCIOUSNESS MERGING INTO DEFEAT; ECSTASY’S THE MAIN VALUE OF A SYSTEM THAT CURBS FLOWS, CONTROLS MOVEMENTS, ORGANIZES THE TRAFFICKING OF HUMANS AS OBJECTS IN CONCENTRATED SPACES AND METHODICALLY ELIMINATES AND PUTS SUPERFLUOUS POPULATIONS TO DEATH; GENOCIDAL LOGICS EQUATE MEN WITH BEASTS / THEORETICAL ARTICULATION DOESN’T SOOTH, BURNS INSIDE THE LUNGS; CBP KILLS TIME INSIDE ME, / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: luna llena acá y allá – Date: 15 novembre 2012 20:02:31 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – tardé horas en responder tu mensaje, porque lo leí decenas de veces. / en medio salí en bicicleta, tomé algo en un bar, fui y volví, conversé con gente en un patio, volví de nuevo, / salí de nuevo, hablé de mil cosas y volví otra vez a casa. y ahora sí te escribo. / también extraño tu presencia, tu brazo extendido recibiéndome en la cama, escuchar tu respiración cerca, / sentir tu olor, escucharte. / la tristeza es a veces sólo una costumbre. / su opuesto, a veces, no se entiende. / a veces no importa entender. / tengo calor para darte. / me gusta que recuerdes mi boca, que aún te siente. / mi mano recuerda cómo tocó tu cuerpo. / mi cuerpo recuerda cómo pasaron tus manos. / no quiero sólo recordarlo. / quiero dormir y despertar contigo. – / TANIA, DOMICILIOS, PRIVACIDAD, 62684729 / 30.000, SOLO HOTELES, DOMICILIO, 099621072 – MARCELITA S, EXCELENTE NIVEL, AMBIENTE, CALIDO, 25.000, 89853566 HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / ¿LE GUSTA ESTE JARDIN QUE ES SUYO? / ¡EVITE QUE SUS HIJOS LO DESTRUYAN! / M. Lowry, Under the Volcano / February 2008 – Phnom Penh; start of addiction; first attacks of paranoia; Ka insists on fucking bareback – as a challenge, as a present, as proof of commitment; she teaches me to combine doses of ice and Yama: Yama smoke is thicker and stays in the body but smoke from ice is pure, reaches the brain and does not come back out; Ka lives in denial of all morals, commits scatology, bestiality and murder; she grew up in the brothels along the Rue Des Petites Fleurs where a girl fucks two thousand men a year; she may, somehow, somewhere, have one or more children; she replies silently to each question I ask; she takes pride in the relentless machinery of her body and collects the dead memories she lives with; she despises innocence when innocence is reduced to cowardice, she knows pleasures no one suspects; she obeys, betrays, recognizes the dirt behind the masks of compliance; most nights she sells her body for the price of bad seeds so as not to sleep alone; I wait outside the room, orphans’ grunts resonate in the silence, ice vapor rises in the thick warm nights of Phnom Penh; at dawn, Ka crawls along counters or sprays herself across the deformed mattress: most days, we reconcile in empty hours before daylight, most precious hours for those who have forgotten sleep; I refuse to pay the price, no longer photograph K, fuck her for free, some kind of love… / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: suave – Date: 19 novembre 2012 14:40:01 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – con los días las sensaciones en lugar de disiparse, se intensifican / estoy sumergida en una marea que no concibe tu ausencia / es una necesidad física, algo vital / que me permite caminar, seguir, vivir, hacer, sí… / pero que me devuelve siempre a un lugar donde no hay forma de cortar este deseo extremo y suave – / EL CIELO, ERRAZURIZ 1152. / BAR LA PLAYA, SERRANO 567. / LIVING DICOTHEQUE, BLANCO 1386. – CINZANO, PLAZA ANIBAL PINTO 1182. 11 VALPARAISO ETERNO, ALMIRANTE SENORET 150, PISO 2. – MASSAGE – BANOS TURCOS, FREIRE 564, NEAR THE EL PARQUE VALPARAISO. / FREIRE 893, QUILPE. TEL: 407 848 AND 408 025. / MAPS – CHEZ GIRLS, MARINA 72, APT. 903, OFF VON SCHROEDERS. CHICAS. PRICES: -. TEL: 0921-59295. – VANESSITAS, AVENIDA VALPARAISO 315. / VON SCHROEDERS 220. CHICAS. / NIGHTCLUBS / LUNA GATA CLUB, / GALLO ROJO. / SALA MURANO, / march 2008 – Phnom Penh; daily doses of ice and Yama; drugs maintain their intensity through days and nights; head-buzzing desire, slow rituals, inhalation of sophisticated mixtures, tireless repetition of orgasms, slow dissolution of all boundaries between good and evil; time and space become an internal exile, bodies convulse in a song: welded jaws, bulging eyes, anemia, prostration; the air lies still, fear creeps into silence, anemic flesh gets trapped in lust and the recurrent idea of betrayal becomes an inability to trust, to care; I try to learn her dirtiest secrets: syllables roam through her pasty mouth; wearing of words and gestures, brutality of survival through lust; Ka takes revenge on her fate by leasing fifteen-year-old girls to sticky aesthetes; hollow nights become tacky days; humanity blurs, far from the polite community of cowards… / Wednesday, November 7th 2012. Valparaíso. PCDV / 9:30 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M. LIBERTY BAR, HOTEL – CONSUMPTION OF CBP DOESN’T ERASE REALITY BUT INTENSIFIES IT, INDUCES PURE PRESENCE TO THE WORLD WHILE DARKNESS SWALLOWS ME FROM THE DEPTHS OF MY OWN BELLY; EACH CELL OF THE BODY SLOWLY BECOMES AUTONOMOUS; OUTSIDE, THE CITY’S ALWAYS MORE OR LESS A HELLHOLE: IN THE STREETS LINING THE PORT, SILENT BEINGS ADVANCE IN VAGUE PROCESSIONS TO SOME INVISIBLE PLACE OF WORSHIP; MOURNING THE DISSOLUTION OF ASPHYXIATED COMMUNITIES IN SMOKE VAPOR; AT THE END OF THE DAY, THE DRUGS HAVE SMOTHERED EACH AND EVERY OUTBREAK OF HUMANISTIC OR COMMUNAL REVOLT; THE COLLAPSE OF THE INDIVIDUALS WITHIN HAVE TORN DOWN FAMILIES AND NEIGHBOROODS END UP IN AN INTOLERABLE BANALITY OF SUFFERING THAT SLOWLY TURNS INTO MEANINGLESSNESS; THE ENDLESS CONTAMINATION OF FLUIDS AND BREATH SPREADS BIOLOGICAL DEATH, DESTINY’S INVESTED WITH WELL THOUGHT-OUT STRATEGIES OF MASS DESTRUCTION; DRUG TRAFFIC AND THE SAVAGE WARS IT CAUSES PARTICIPATE IN THE MORE-THAN-EVER EFFICIENT SCHEME OF LETTING MARGINAL POPULATIONS SELF-DESTRUCT: UNPRECEDENTED ECONOMICAL VIOLENCE CREATES NEW TYPES OF VIOLENCE: BLIND VIOLENCE, WITH NO KIND OF LIMIT, CLAIM OR ADDRESS; ULTIMATELY, THE IMMUNE RESPONSE OF A MISERABLE SOCIAL BODY TO THE PRESCRIPTIVE RULES OF SOCIETY: BETWEEN ONE HUNDRED AND FORTY-NINE MILLION AND TWO HUNDRED AND SEVENTY-TWO MILLION PEOPLE OR THREE POINT THREE TO SIX POINT ONE PER CENT OF THE WORLD POPULATION AGED BETWEEN FIFTEEN AND SIXTY-FOUR HAVE USED ILLICIT SUBSTANCES IN THE PREVIOUS YEAR AND A HALF; THAT NUMBER IS ESTIMATED TO HAVE BEEN CURRENT DRUG USERS, NARCOTIC CONTAMINATION OVERFLOWING THE SOCIAL ORDER WITH DESTRUCTIVE CONSEQUENCES; THE VIOLENCE OF THAT INVISIBLE COMMUNITY, MADE OUT OF NON-ACCOUNTABLE ENTITIES, IS PROPORTIONAL TO THE BRUTALITY OF THE GLOBAL ECONOMY’S ORGIASTIC LOGIC; CRIME, WHICH MAKES PERILOUS JUNGLES OUT OF URBAN TERRITORIES, IS THE SIGN OF A PRECIOUS VITALITY / PART OF THE UGLY, IRRATIONAL, SPONTANEOUS PROCESS OF SURVIVAL AND RESISTANCE TO THE MORAL – ECONOMIC ORDER; IN THE STREETS OF VALPARAISO, AS ELSEWHERE, LOST SOULS HAVE BEEN STRIPPED OF THEIR DIGNITY, HAVE NOTHING BUT DELINQUENCY TO GIVE FREE REIN TO THEIR SAVAGERY BECAUSE HISTORY, IN ITS FUNCTION OF REGULATING HORROR, HAS FAILED AND MADE A NECESSITY OUT OF BUTCHERY; REASON IS SWEPT AWAY BY CHAOS; ECSTASY ALONE, BE IT SEXUAL OR NARCOTIC, PURVEYS INSTANT AND ABSOLUTE SATISFACTION TO THOSE WHO DON’T SEEK REFUGE WITHIN THE COMFORT OF COWARDICE; LONELY JUNKIES IN THE HOLD OF MUTANT MOLECULES THAT FORGE THE IMAGINATION NECESSARY TO  ELABORATE NEW CRIMES AND OBSCENITIES; IN THE DARK HOURS OF THE NIGHT, FRAGILE INTIMACIES AND SOLIDARITIES WERE BORN: AN EXCESS OF RAGE THAT BREATHES LIFE INTO THE CRUELTY OF THE WORLD; ABSORBING THE SUBSTANCE, REFUSING TO RENOUNCE THE RESPONSIBILITY OF GENUINE SUFFERING, ATTEMPTING TO GIVE A COHERENT SHAPE TO A DISORDERED AND HARMFUL UTOPIA: THE RELEASE, THE FLESH BURIED UNDER THE SURFACE OF SPECTACULAR ILLUSIONS, THE PORNOGRAPHIC DISPLAY OF A BESTIAL VITALITY OF BEINGS, A LASCIVIOUS REVOLUTION, CARNAL, VIOLENT AND BLIND: LOW NARCOTIC DEATH AND SEXUAL WASTE AS INTIMATE STRATEGIES: THE ENDURING PATHWAY BETWEEN THE WORLD OF FEAR AND THAT OF DESIRE IS AN ACT OF LOVE, WITHOUT REASON AND AGAINST REASON; NO SPACE LEFT FOR INTELLIGENCE AND THEORIZING RESISTANCE; I GIVE MYSELF THE CHEMICAL MEANS TO ENGAGE IN THE PRACTICE OF IMMORALITY; / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: El dia que me quieras – Date: 21 novembre 2012 14:37:09 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – Acaricia mi ensueño el suave murmullo de tu suspirar, / ¡como ríe la vida / si tus ojos negros me quieren mirar! Y si es mío el amparo, / de tu risa leve que es como un cantar, / ella aquieta mi herida, / todo, todo se olvida.. – / KAMAZU / LAS URRACAS. / LAS BRUJUS. – DISCO SALSA. CHICAS. PRICES: $40, SHORT TIME. CHILEANS TAKE GIRLS UPSTAIRS. – THE MP, AVENIDA VALPARAISO BETWEEN ECUADOR AND TRASLAVINA. NORTH SIDE OF AVENIDA VALPARAISO AND TOWARDS ECUADOR. FROM THE CROSSING OF ECUADOR AND AVENIDA VALPARAISO, ABOUT 10 OR 20M, EASY TO SPOT PICTURE OF HALF-NAKED WOMAN. / April 4th, 2008 – Phnom Penh; informed of my father’s worsening condition, I return to France; death of my father; mid-April 2008 – Phnom Penh; return to Cambodia; Ka lies naked, legs apart, squirts in the dark, drinks fluids from my body like poisonous sap; my mouth waters in her hole, I lick her wounds, her tears, the acid juice running down her thighs; when the methamphetamine fades away, we hold onto hate; on bad days, Ka stalks her prey without compassion, with discipline, with the aid of informers who she sucks and helps jerk off; she wanders, yields to rage, seduces the johns she fears and cons the ones she despises; narcotic lucidity defeats the physical order of the world, slowly diluting into the thin smoke of ice; hysterical skin, bloodless flesh moves disturbingly in the room; the bed, the disorderly table one can only sit at if invited, the small reproduction of a Bacon triptych nailed to the wall, next to the mirror; I shuffle cards, play solitaire, dig into the meat of my left toe with a razor blade; Tao, 16 yrs. old, handles the small bags full of crystals; on the table: some scissors, lighters, straws, a roll of toilet paper, sequins, empty water bottles, a candle, a roll of aluminum foil, a hairbrush, a bouquet of artificial flowers, empty ziplock bags, red Yama seals, several packs of cigarettes, the remains of some fruit, a large container stocked with makeup, playing cards, more packets of cigarettes, a razor, tweezers, another lighter, broken parts of lighters; at the foot of the Bacon triptych, a small altar is dedicated to a greedy god; beads of sweat on my shoulders and neck tremble in the vortex provoked by the fan screwed to the wall; my hand grazes the ground; outside the room, the entrance to the building is protected by two off-duty policemen; from the far corner, young thugs and tuk-tuk drivers watch me relentlessly, / De: @gmail.com – Objet: temporadas en el infierno – Date: 06 janvier 2013 22:19:13 UTC – 06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – “¿qué dice la letra?”, pregunta sentado en la silla más cercana a la puerta del casino social j cruz / así que el encuentro fue directo y, entre cigarrillos, se acordó una salida a la noche siguiente. / de sus días en valparaíso un detalle lo emociona: una de sus fotos salió junto a una de sergio larrain en un diario local. / al llegar al lugar de la cita – un símbolo de la bohemia porteña que dejó de ser – su figura se recorta a través de la ventana. / escribe sobre un anotador apoyado en sus piernas y, al ver que alguien se acerca, deja de escribir y rompe las hojas que quedaron sobre la mesa. / al día siguiente viajará a parís, pero esa noche fuma en un callejón y en un taxi que sube el cerro canta lo que suena en la radio. está sumergido en el momento, en el lugar. / tiene cuatro hijas. dice que eligió que fueran mujeres, porque son mejores para el mundo. es suave en sus formas. escucha. cuestiona contradicciones. es imposible imaginarlo en cuerpo de niño. / dice que lleva un año sin hacer fotos. pero luego toma algunas: con flash, con una cámara mínima, desentendido del posible resultado / pasadas las horas sugiere que se hable de la inmovilidad. / habla del sufrimiento mental. / «no estoy buscando ninguna respuesta. ya ni voy con preguntas, voy con nada, voy siguiendo, tratando de sentir.» / toma de un trago un café que estaba helado por el olvido. / – PLAY OLD CLUB, AVENIDA VALPARAISO 1115. / JACARANDA, PASEO COUSIÑO 18. / Thursday, November 8th 2012. Valparaíso. PCDV / 9:30 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M. STOCK RUNS OUT; TRANSITORY AND ALTERED STATES OF CRAVING REACH PURE DEMENTIA; THE STREETS ARE EMPTY AROUND LIBERTY’S STREETCORNER; IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, THE SMELL OF CRIME; CYNICAL AND COWARDLY GAZES; FACTS LEAD TO BLIND CRUELTY: THE WRETCHED FAMILY THAT SELLS ME CBP COMPLIES WITH THE UNWRITTEN RULES OF SURVIVAL, HANDING OUT NAMELESS CHEMICALS TO THEIR OWN PREGNANT DAUGHTER; ALICIA WAITS FOR MEAT AT CLUB PARAÍSO; SHE’S THE PROTOTYPE OF A NEW PROLETARIAN FIGURE – IN A WORLD WHERE FRANTIC SEXUAL CONSUMERISM HAS REPLACED DESIRE AND MEMORY; HER BODY’S THE STRATEGIC RECEPTACLE OF CAPITALIST LOGICS WHICH IMPOSE FLEETING PASSION ON THE FLESH; THIRSTY FOR TOXIC SUBSTANCES, SHE WORMS HER WAY INTO A CRUELLY INTIMATE KNOWLEDGE OF MADNESS, OFFERING HER PERFUMED FLESH TO MY AVIDITY; CLUB PARAÍSO’S AN IDEALIZED PLACE IN WHICH LOST SOULS FIND PEACE, HAPPINESS AND CONTENTMENT, WHERE THEY COME TO REST; IT IS A CONCEPTUAL ICON, A SUBLIMATION OF THE MISERY OF CIVILIZATION: THERE, EVERYTHING CAN BE SHOWN BECAUSE NOTHING IS MATERIAL, TANGIBLE – EVERYTHING IS VISIBLE, BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING TO SEE; BACKSTAGE, CBP’S BEING SMOKED IN HAND-MADE PIPES, ASHES PLACED AT THE BOTTOM TO KEEP THEM WARM; THE GIRLS’ BEAUTY LIES IN IMMENSE PAIN AND THE EPHEMERAL PASSION OF THEIR DESTINIES, SURFACES IN THEIR CAPACITY TO SURPASS THE CONDITIONS IMPOSED UPON THEM – WE SMOKE: THE DRUG REACHES THE BLOODSTREAM AND BRAIN WITHIN FIVE TO EIGHT SECONDS AFTER BEING SMOKED; IT HAS A VERY FAST, INTENSE AND SHORT EFFECT OF FIVE TO TEN MINUTES, WHICH GIVES THE DRUG A GREATER ADDICTIVE POTENTIAL; SMOKING PRODUCES AN INITIAL STAGE OF EUPHORIA AND HYPER-EXCITABILITY, DECREASED FATIGUE, REDUCTION OF SLEEP AND INHIBITION OF APPETITE, QUICKLY FOLLOWED BY A PERIOD OF DYSPHORIA CHARACTERIZED BY ANXIETY, SEXUAL INDIFFERENCE AND AN UNCONTROLLABLE DESIRE TO CONSUME AGAIN, WHICH LEADS TO A STAGE OF CONTINUOUS CONSUMPTION TO AVOID THE DYSPHORIA CRASH; REPEATED USE PRODUCES ANOREXIA, VIOLENT BEHAVIOR, PSYCHOSIS AND HALLUCINATIONS; IT AFFECTS THE BRAIN, THE ANATOMY, MAKING ADDICTION A NEURO-PSYCHIATRIC PATHOLOGY; IT ALSO BREAKS THE FRAGILE AND INTRICATE CHEMICAL BALANCE IN THE NEURONAL CIRCUIT AND CAUSES INCREASED EFFECTS IN BATTERED, ADDICTED BODIES WHICH, SOVEREIGN IN THEIR SELF-DESTRUCTION, DISSOLVE INTO THE BANALITY OF A SELF-INFLICTED DEATH INSTINCT; IN THE HOTEL ROOM, DAWN RISES; WHITE SMOKE FILLS THE SPACE; LIFE STARTS OVER – CONFUSION OF GESTURES, THE OBSCURE CHEMICAL FORCE PARALYSES THE LIMBS, INERTIA SUCKS ME INTO THE CHAOS OF EXACERBATED SENSATIONS: CONSTANTLY FAILED ATTEMPTS TO LATCH BACK ONTO LIFE; THEN, THE EPHEMERAL RUSH OF VITAL ENERGY IS SUCKED INTO THE MUSCLES, THE BONES AND THE NERVES – BLASTS OF ELECTRICAL VIBES, CONSTANTLY PUMPED INTO THE ORGANS AND TURGID LIMBS, IMMUNIZE THE MIND AGAINST NOTHINGNESS ; HEAT SPREADS THROUGH THE NECK, JAWS STIFFEN, SENSES SUFFOCATE ANXIETY, DESIRE OVERWHELMS THE MIND, GENITALS SWELL UP: LIFE OVERTHROWS REASON – THE SCREAM TAKES SHAPE IN MY CHEST; / early May 2008 – Phnom Penh; I play the game according to her rules and the Cambodian room becomes a kingdom, fucking Ka not to die, not to think, not to suffer… to suffer; asking for more than the insipid color of dying flesh; her movements are slow and precise when she shaves her scalp and forehead; her hole, precious, more valuable than the lives of all of her customers; Ka teaches me her tricks, allows me to fuck the walkabout, AIDS-infected Viet whores who lie on sweat-soaked mattresses and sing while waiting for the man to ejaculate; words aren’t of any use anymore, morality seems just a matter of patience; like cooking, the combustion of ice, Yama and heroin waste which Ka cooks until it gets doughy, thick and smokeable; common symptoms of addiction pile upon each other: dizziness, confusion, difficulty in breathing, loss of coordination, numbness, visual hallucinations, auditory hallucinations, panic, paranoia, nausea, sweating, diarrhea, obsessive behavior, hyperactivity, headaches, blurred vision, itchy skin, euphoria, increased alertness, increased confidence, increased arousal, increased sociability, increased irritability, excessive sleep, anxiety, insomnia, depression, violent behavior, confusion, teeth grinding, decreased inhibitions, restlessness, weakness, fevers, chills, tremors, increased libido, increased need for sex, sores on the genitals, anus and mouth, inability to attain orgasm, inability to ejaculate, erectile dysfunction, decrease of appetite, impaired immune system, liver damage, anemia… / De: l@gmail.com – Objet:¿estás ahí? Date: 11 janvier 2013 17:19:10 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – si pudiera iría ya mismo a verte, donde sea que estés – / PROMOCION DÍA, 10.000, 13.000, TARJETAS CRÉDITO, 13.000, 2986099. / 50.000, 1 HORA, REÑAQUINAS, EXCLUSIVO, HORARIO CONTINUADO, NIVEL. 090503369 HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / may 5th, 2008, 11:58:46 p.m. – Phnom Penh; – you’re not fucked up, uhm? too much but not enough? before, i had many men, all good men… I do not ask too much money from men… something I do not need, I do not ask; I do not care! – what happened to your customer tonight? – he’s not my customer! if I want customer, no need to let you here… II don’t need customer to come here to see you… it’s my job… i don’t want to make customers angry about mad man like you… you hurt because you hurt yourself… if I go with customers, you can’t be angry with me… you don’t pay me, you don’t take care me… you don’t ask me to stop! you tell me to care myself but you have to care yourself too… I am crazy and you are crazy… if I give you smoke, you burn yourself…you are fucked up… it’s for this shit you’re coming… what do you want from me?.; tell me! what do you want from me? I don’t care, I don’t know but i know what I want for you… you pay for this shit… I can pay for you too because I want you, not because you want me… take your shit, here… take it! go kill yourself… now, I have nothing… I’m not happy… how many days you come in Phnom Penh? how many days already? how many times you smoked already… is it enough? Antoine… smoke… your head is always busy… / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: (Aucun objet) – Date: 27 janvier 2013 14:17:50 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – me gusta mucho la música en piano, también en violines. / cuando era chica tomaba clases de piano. quería ser libre y tocar y la profesora no me dejaba. entonces decidí dejar las clases con ella y mis padres vendieron el piano. nunca más toqué hasta un tiempo en el que estuve muy enferma (no del cuerpo, si no de la mente) y pude tocar todo lo que quise. luego de nuevo, no pude más. creo que podré de nuevo cuando sea muy vieja. / hay algunos sonidos que desde mi lado más romántico o heroico o melancólico / creo que fueron inventados para mi. / yo no sé de dónde viene tu silencio. y es, sin más, lo que hoy ocurre. / igual intento llegar a vos de alguna manera. / sin estrategias, ni expectativas. / con música. – / HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / HOTEL MONTERILLA IS LOCATED AT AVENIDA DOS NORTE 65. – VIP MASSAGE PARLOR 4 BLOCKS AWAY FROM THE HOTEL ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF THE LAGOON. SMALL SIGN ON THE ENTRYWAY AND YOU GO UPSTAIRS WHERE YOU RING A BELL. THE LADY ANSWERS THE DOOR, BRINGS YOU INSIDE AND PARADES THE GIRLS IN FRONT OF YOU. PRICE RANGES FROM $30 TO $70, DEPENDING ON WHAT YOU WANT AND FOR HOW LONG. MASSAGE / CHICAS. PRICES: $30-70. HOURS: – / may 20th, 2008 – Phnom Penh; trying to break with Ka and the crystal at the same time; my understanding of the physical and psychological effects of the drug is fading; we become the object of rampant paranoia: while Ka comes up with some dirty strategy, I wean myself off her with the tongues and strokes of two incestuous sisters, Bopal and Lin; after a final fight, I finish off the pot of rare cream Ka uses for moisturizing scars on her face in order to sodomize her; next day, I find a rag doll of my likeness pierced with pins; Ka sends cops on my trail, I leave after gazing, for the last time, at her body, twisted in pain, in the gutter of an alley, right off Rue Pasteur; I have heard her voice many nights since that time, moaning relentlessly in the darkness of empty rooms, and I remain silent, cowardly helpless at the repeated sight of her defeat – / Friday, November 9th 2012. Valparaíso. PCDV / 9:30 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M. HOTEL ROOM, CBP; IN A CONTAGIOUS AND INFLATIONARY SCHEME OF ADDICTION, RELATIONSHIPS DISINTEGRATE; DESTRUCTION OF ALL EMOTIONAL LINKS TO OTHERS IS A DELIBERATE ACT; CONSCIOUSNESS DOESN’T CLING TO ANYTHING, AND THOUGHTS GET DILUTED IN INACCESSIBLE LAYERS OF EMPTINESS; ALL AROUND ME, PORNOGRAPHY SHOWS EVERYTHING WHILE DISPLAYING NOTHINGNESS: PHOTOGRAPHY CONTINUES TO BE INEFFECTIVE BECAUSE IT ALLOWS ME TO PRETEND TO BE MYSELF, WHEREAS ANONYMOUS PAIN IS THE ONLY REALITY;  IMAGES DON’T ESCAPE THE REALM OF CONSENSUS BECAUSE THEY PERVERT MEANING BUT RESPECT THE STATUS OF SENSE; WHAT’S LEFT IS THE CONFINED TIME OF ORGASM AND PHYSIOLOGICAL CHAOS: INFINITY DIES OFF; TRIGGERING AN UNKNOWN GIRL’S DESIRE, ALL SEXUALITY ABSOLUTELY DESTROYED; I INHALE THE CBP ON A PIECE OF ALUMINUM FOIL AND THE GIRL LIFTS HER SKIRT, SHOWING ME HER VAGINA; THE TWO CANNIBAL BODIES ON THE BED ARE GETTING READY TO SPILL INTO EACH OTHER; I LOOK AT SKIN DEFECTS, AT OUR DISORDERLY MOVEMENTS; THE GIRL MASTURBATES, RUBS HER HOLE AGAINST MY PENIS VIOLENTLY; TWISTS CONVULSIVELY, HER HOARSE VOICE  BREAKS INTO A GROAN, HER BODY COLLAPSES, WRITHING IN EXPLICIT POSES, SHE SEEMS HALLUCINATED, REMAINS INACCESSIBLE;  OUR BODIES ARE BRUISED; THE GIRL SMILES IN CHILLING SILENCE, TREMBLES, KNEELS, I OPEN HER SLOT WITH BOTH HANDS, PUT MY LIPS ON HER OPEN WOUND; IN THE BRUTAL EMBRACE, MOUTHS MINGLE IN CLUMSY MOVEMENTS; THE GIRL SEARCHES FOR STREAMS OF FLUIDS AND SMELLS; HER EYES ROLLED BACK, VAGUE GESTURES, MY BODY CONVULSING; THE GIRL DRAWS MY FACE AGAINST HER STOMACH; CONFUSION, FORGETFULNESS; IMAGES BURNED BY LIGHT; THE SMELL OF CBP; THROUGH THE WINDOW, THE HOLLOW SKY, THE SHINY STARS, THE TREMBLING CITY LIGHTS; FACING HER FACE UNTIL DAWN; CONDEMNED TO WANDER THROUGH A MAZE OF MIRRORS THAT REVEAL REAL LIFE BUT KEEP IT OUT OF REACH, BREAKING IT THROUGH AN INFINITY OF SEPARATIONS; THE DAEMON OF DOUBT IN MY VEINS; AND PLEASURE WHICH OPENS A FLAW INTO BARBARISM OR HER PRESENCE; I LAY THERE, HAVING EVERY REASON NOT TO MOVE AND TO SMOKE THE LAST DOSE OF CBP, DECIPHERING REALITY AROUND ME AS WELL AS I CAN, BETWEEN FACTS AND WITHERING VISIONS; UNCOVERING COMMON AND CONTRADICTORY FEELINGS BETWEEN THE REALITY OF OUR POSITIONS IN THE ROOM AND THE IDEA OF MYTH, FUELED BY THE DRUG; OUR FLESH SATIATED, NOT EXPECTING ANYTHING ANYMORE; LIFE TAKING THE UPPER HAND OVER OUR WILL; THE FEMALE FIGURE BEFORE ME LIKE ONE MORE PRIESTESS OF THE LAST PAGAN RELIGION, DEVOTING EMPTY NIGHTS TO THE SOLIDARITY OF FLESH AND THE CURSE OF REASON; THE SPECTACLE OF OUR PROSTRATION BEING INFLICTED UPON US;  WE, AS VICTIMS, ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE FATE BEING FORCED UPON US: NO WAY OUT OF THE ROOM, NO WAY OUT FAR FROM EACH OTHER; GRASPING AT FRAGMENTS OF ILLUSORY REALITIES AND CONVEYING A DESPERATELY NARROW EXPERIENCE OF THE WORLD; THROUGH DESIRE FOR HUMANITY, IN THE PROCESS OF FICTIONALIZING UNATTAINABLE TRUTHS, HOPING TO FIND THE COURAGE TO HOLD ON, FIND OURSELVES STUCK IN FAKE SPACES THAT DISSOLVE INTO THEIR MERE REPRESENTATION; THE DRUG DRAINS THE COURSE OF  CHAOTIC ACTIONS THAT SLIP ON THE SMOOTH AND HERMETIC SURFACE OF THE NIGHT; MEANING SEEMS ERADICATED; I PHOTOGRAPH, REPRODUCE MY EMPTY REFLECTION ENDLESSLY, HYPNOTIZED BY THE INEXORABLE FLOW OF  THE SHAMS THAT LONELINESS PROVOKES, LOST IN A VENOMOUS AND FATAL CONTEMPLATION OF THE PROMISCUITY OF FLESH; IMAGES BORN OUT OF IMAGES, OUT OF DESPAIR, BECOMING THE CONDITION OF MY OWN DISSOLUTION; / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: (Aucun objet) – Date: 16 janvier 2013 02:03:13 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – una frase de Freya Stark, una mujer nómade-viajera : «El alma humana se marchita bajo la honradez estéril» / miles de besos, mi lindo antoine / nina – / NEAR THE CASINO, GO ACROSS THE BRIDGE AND EAST 2 BLOCKS THEN TURN RIGHT AND JUST LOOK FOR SIGN ABOVE ENTRYWAY. PRICES: 7.000. TEL: 32-271 -0230. HOURS: 24. – CHILENAS FANTASTICAS VIÑA,VALPARAISO 309, TERCER PISO. PRICES: 10.000. TEL: 32-2881444.HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / June 2008 – Phnom Penh; I hide out with Bopal and Lin in an anonymous hotel; we’re easy targets: pornography’s illegal, urine tests are common; I leave Phnom Penh in the morning and fall apart in Bangkok later the same day: night, long blows on the hotel room door, hospital, dehydration, liver abscess, genital sores, fever amoebiasis.  / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: Rép: Réponse en cas d’absence – Date: 18 février 2013 22:07:09 UTC-06:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – voy a hacer una obra con la diversidad de respuestas automáticas, todas en distintas fechas. / a mi modo de ver la vida, hasta resulta poético – 2013/2/19 < a@hotmail.com > – Auto reply / I am currently away from my email. / until March 16th, I will be checking my mail box only periodically. / for any inquiries or emergency please contact magnum photos, paris. / and / or / due to continued traveling and saturated mail box, / I have not been able to answer your last message, / and will not be able to respond any time soon. / with my apologies, / best, / A. A. / 3 CHICAS AND 1 PIMP. SAD LOOKING PLACE. CHICAS WERE WORTH NOT A CENT MORE THEN THE ONES IN SAUNA RELAX / ASKING X 6 THE PRICE ONLY 1 BLOCK DOWN THE ROAD. / MODELOS, ALTISIMO NIVEL, 30. 000, SOLO HOTELES, DOMICILIO, 099621072 HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / MARCELITA, EXCELENTE NIVEL, AMBIENTE, CALIDO, 25.000 ATENCIÓN VIÑA CENTRO, 89853566 / ATENCIÓN PERSONALIZADA, CALEFACCIONADO. 08/8635033. VIÑA. /Thursday, November 26th, 2009 – Angkor girl says: you change hotel every day, you do not tell anyone where you live; fear decides for you; the police are looking for you; dealers want to hurt you… be faithful to the drug; I’ll forget you and you’ll forget me too; I can die; I often think you must be sick too; I’m going then, and I’m scared for you; yama shows the way; sex is in our thoughts, it is the path we take; it is a dark path, because yama gives strength, but that strength is uncontrollable, takes us into chaos; joy and fear will disappear; emptiness will stay, unbearable; do not be alone when fear is with you; because you are alone, you can’t afford to think; any gesture is better than thought; many people have cut their veins; all they wanted was to feel, once again; they smoked yama and their body became dark and smelly; they smoked ice and their body became pale and odorless; but because we are not scared, we can play; it is our last choice; because we cannot do anything against death; don’t forget; we live with the memory of those who have gone, of those the disease took away; they smoked yama because they didn’t know they would die; we smoke yama because we don’t know when we’ll die… / QUILPUE QUILPUE PROMOCION DÍA, 10.000, 13.000, TARJETAS CRÉDITO, 13. 000, 2986099. HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / 50.000, 1 HORA, REÑAQUINAS, HORARIO CONTINUADO. 090503369 HAGA CLICK AQUÍ PARA SELECCIONAR AVISO CLASIFICADO / 2 CALL SYSTEM. / CALL NUMBER GIVES YO CROSS STREET AND CALL ONCE IN THAT AREA. ONCE IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD, CALL WILL REVEAL EXACT ADDRESS. / SAUNA RELAX AT ABOUT MIDNIGHT. / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: verte… – Date: 15 avril 2013 14:47:27 UTC-05:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – ¿cómo estás? / ¿qué es de tu vida? / besos – / Tuesday, December 1st, 2009 – in Angkor, I meet Thy and one of her customers; she says Ka threw herself from the third floor of a building in Phnom Penh but is still alive, hospitalized near her family’s village and, after weeks of withdrawal, slit her wrists and survived second suicide attempt – / Saturday, November 10th 2012. Valparaíso. PCDV / 9:30 A.M. TO 6:00 P.M.. LIBERTY BAR. CBP. IN THE BEGINNING STOOD THE  SUBLIME ETHIC OF ACTION, THE WAILING OF TORN-APART INNOCENT BODIES: I TRY TO RIP THE VERY SUBSTANCE OF MY WORDS OUT OF MY LIFE, ABSORB THE WORLD, GET LOST IN MY OWN FEARS, FACE THE BRUTALITY OF FACTS AND GIVE WAY TO THE HOLD OF THE FLESH; FOR THE SAKE OF HONESTY, I PRACTICE ART AS A MARTIAL ART, TAKE THE PAIN, DENY THE FEARS, LIVE UP TO THE TRIVIAL BEAUTY OF EXPERIENCE; ART’S JUST A SOURCE OF MOVEMENT AND  IMBALANCE; BECAUSE PAROXYSM IS THE CONDITION OF ALL DECENT HUMAN BEHAVIOR, IT IS IMPOSSIBLE TO STOP KILLING ONESELF; BUT DYING LIKE A MAN IS NOT POSSIBLE EITHER; TO KILL MY CHARACTER WOULD NOT BE NOT ENOUGH TO SILENCE THE VOICE OF ART, OR TO GIVE CONSTITENCY TO THE HARMFUL SCREAM OF LIFE – DESPITE EVERYTHING, DESPITE MYSELF, BECAUSE I ANNOUNCE MY ACTIONS AND WITNESS THEM, FICTION KEEPS ME FROM ERADICATING MYSELF, FROM DEGRADING THE WORK OF ART,  FROM ATTAINING WHAT CANNOT BE SHOWN – THE VICTIM WOULD NOT BE A MAN BUT A WORD, A NAME: THERE COMES A POINT WHERE EVERYTHING IS USED, AND EVERYTHING MAKES SENSE; I CAN PROSTITUTE MY DEATH AND MAKE IT AN OBJECT; THE ONLY CHOICE LEFT IS TO KEEP SEARCHING FOR EMPIRICAL EVIDENCE OF THE EFFECT OF CBP ON THE CENTRAL NERVOUS SYSTEM; THROUGH THE PLASTIC PASTEURIZED MILK BOTTLE  THAT STANDS ON THE TABLE, THROUGH THE POTENTIAL NEUROTOXIC SUBSTANCE THAT INDUCES NEURONAL DEATH TO THE POINT OF NEURONS BEING ERADICATED; IGNORING  FEELINGS THAT OVERWHELM MEN WHO WITNESS THE HORROR; I HAVE NO STRENGTH LEFT TO DEPICT IN PRECISE AND ARBITRARY WAYS THE UNBEARABLE POWER OF THOSE WHO DON’T OWN ANYTHING, TO ESTABLISH SOME CHAOTIC AND BIASED SOCIOLOGY OF ECSTASY; THE ONLY POSSIBLE STRATEGY LEFT WOULD BE TO AIM AT REACHING PLEASURE UNTIL I FALL UNCONSCIOUS, AS A WAY TO HIT BACK A WORLD THAT DENIES FREE BEINGS EVERY RIGHT; PLEASURE AS A MERE STATE OF SENSATION AND TENSION; HOOKED ON ADRENALINE, NARCOTIC DRUNKENNESS, ERRATIC SENSATIONS; NOT TO THINK, TO ERASE THOUGHTS; COMING, STAYING HIGH, REDUCING CONSCIOUSNESS, MAINTAINING A BARE STATE OF PANIC; INNOCENCE RESTS ON ACCEPTANCE, ON EXPERIMENTATION; WHOEVER DEVIATES FROM REASONABLE BEHAVIOR IS GUILTY OF SOCIAL PATHOLOGY AND LOVE, MADNESS, RAGE, ECSTASY, ALL THE PRIVILEGED VECTORS OF DEVIANCE DRAGGED US RIGHT DOWN INTO THE ABYSS; OUT THERE, UNDER COLD SUNLIGHT, INSIDIOUS AND BANAL ALIENATION IS THE NORM; THOSE, DEFEATED BY THE IMPERATIVES OF PRODUCTION, WHO HAVE RENOUNCED THE ATTEMPT TO BREAK THE VICIOUS CIRCLE OF CONTEMPLATION, STAGNATE IN A PERMANENT STATE OF PAINLESS CRAVING; THE ONLY WAY OUT IS ACTION, REGENERATION OF DESIRE: SHATTERING PASSIVITY AND COMPROMISE, LEARNING AUTONOMOUS GESTURES ALL OVER AGAIN, FORGING MISERABLE DESTINIES OUT OF DESPAIR, / SAUNA RELAX, AVENIDA VALPARAISO 223. CHICAS. PRICES: AND UP AND UP. TEL: 32-27 0230. HOURS: 24 / 7 GIRLS: 7/10 BUT PRICE IS 25000 FOR AN HOUR… GIRL FROM PARAGUAY #REPLY / SAUNAS AT 200-300 VALPARAISO / NO NAME OF THE MASSAGE PLACE. THIRD FLOOR. 2 GIRLS AVAILABLE AT 7PM, ONE BLACK FROM COLOMBIA THE OTHER WHITE/LATINO. / Thursday, December 3rd, 2009 – Phnom Penh; despite  warnings, I travel to Phnom Penh, come to grips with past mistakes, conduct inquiries: a bodyguard costs 350 dollars here and to kill someone, 300; find people to take me to the White Cobra; Ka’s there, trying to hide, crouching behind the counter; I approach her, hold my breath; she says she never wanted to see me again, then she laughs; she’s allowed her hair to grow and her wrists are bandaged; through the magic powers of a plastic Buddha, she is invincible, she speaks softly: after we split, I went with  dealer… I fly, fly until I drop… police want me to give names… I was stuck… both sides… only way out was to jump… we drive to the Martini; the toothless vendors outside the club touch her fingertips to ensure she’s no spirit; later, Yan brings ice to the hotel room and prepares a water pipe; Ka vomits at the sight of the transparent crystals, lies on her stomach, face buried in the pillow; Antoine’s good, Yang whispers, but not for you… later, a long wail – tears, hiccups; Ka accepts a dose of MDMA, brought with me from Europe; movements are slow; nothing will ever satisfy our hunger; Ka’s legs bend, loose skin and bony edges; my whole being pressed onto hers, lost in the folds of her body; her mouth swallows yellow fluids, sodomy, terrible apotheosis of flesh; too much is not enough… / 30,000 FOR HALF HOUR AND 60,000 FOR AN HOUR / VALPARAISO: SAUNA ACONDICIONADO. THE NICEST PLACE OF THE TWO AND ALSO THE CHEAPEST. 2 GIRLS AVAILABLE AT 7PM, ONE BLACK AND ONE CUTE LOCAL GIRL, 20-23 YEARS OLD, BODY WAS NOT GREAT BUT STILL NICE: PERKY NATURAL TITS AND JUST SLIGHTLY TRIMMED PUSSY. 25,000 FOR AN HOUR OF MASSAGE AND SEX. GIRL IS VERY FRIENDLY, SLIGHTLY SHY. MORE SEXY MASSAGE WITH KISSES ON MOUTH AND ORAL WITH CONDOM AND THEN SEX IN A COUPLE OF POSITIONS. NOTHING SUPER SPECIAL BUT NICE AND WORTH THE MONEY. / De: l@gmail.com – Objet: siento – Date: 30 avril 2013 18:20:28 UTC-05:00 – À: a@hotmail.com – ¿cuándo será? / Friday, December 4th, 2009 – Phnom Penh; Ka expertly slips on her dress; a car is waiting outside to take her back to her village; before she leaves, she says she has AIDS; her eyes are empty / HTTP: //WWW. AMAZONASONLINE.CL. / CHICAS. PRICES: 10000 AND UP AND UP. TEL: 32-27 0230. HOURS: 24 / SUBIDA ECUADOR BARS – ALL THE BARS AT SUBIDA ECUADOR CLOSED: AT 10PM / PRETTY DECENT, GIRLS 3-7 IN QUALITY, MOSTLY 3-5. BEERS 2.000 PRIVATE DRINK WITH GIRL DOUBLE THE PRICE, SHE WILL KISS YOU AND LET YOU TOUCH BREASTS AND BUM. / VERY PRIVATE DANCE FOR 10.000: BIG TITS AND ASS: 10 MINUTES, CAN TOUCH EVERYWHERE BUT NO BJ OR HANDJOB, 10.000 OR 15.000. VERY SEXY. / MAKEUP, NAILS AND CLOTHES. NO SILICONE WHATSOEVER. GIRLS ARE LOVELY AND TAKE A LOT OF TIME ON THEIR APPEARANCE. / Sunday, November 11, 2012 . DRUNKEN SEAMEN ON A SHORT LEAVE IN VALPARAISO; THE PLACE IS MERELY A CONCEPT, A STATE OF MIND, AN IDEAL TERRITORY OF FADED BEAUTY, A NARROW LUSH ENCLOSED GARDEN WITH A SCARCITY OF DRUGS AND GIRLS; I FOUND ONLY MY OWN REFLECTION IN THE DEPTH OF SEVEN HOLLOW MIRRORS; A POOR MOCKERY OF HEAVEN, PARADISE MINUS CLOUDS, HARPS AND ANGELS; TIME STANDS STILL: THE CRACKHEADS WHO HANG AROUND THE LIBERTY BAR LIVE IN DEATH WHAT WE’VE DREAMT IN LIFE AND THE CBP LEAVES WAKES OF DEAD BODIES AND SHATTERED DESTINIES  WHEREVER IT FLOWS; TANIA RUNS BASE FOR ME AND WHISPERS: QUANDO MAS NECESSITAS SOMBRA, MI SOMBRA ES TUYA… NO ATTEMPT TO PHOTOGRAPH, INABILITY TO PROVOKE ANY TYPE OF INTER-PENETRATION BETWEEN PHOTOGRAPHIC LANGUAGE AND SITUATIONS THAT GENERATE IT; THE ONLY IMAGES I PRODUCE PARASITIZE REALITY, AND CAN’T WITHSTAND THE URGENCY, RECKLESSNESS AND INCONSISTENCY OF FACTS: ART PROVES AGAIN TO BE INEFFICIENT, OR INADEQUATE, BUT I’M LEFT WITH THE CERTAINTY THAT  EXPERIENCING WORLD EXCESSES AND CONFLICTS GENERATES DEVASTATING CONSCIENCE AND DIGNITY; STRIVING TO TURN BRUTALITY INTO STRENGTH, LIVING IN THE GRIP OF PASSION AND PAIN BECAUSE THEY MAKE THE STATE OF THINGS MORE PERCEPTIBLE; ON THE TV SET, A GENERALIZED MYTHIFICATION OF PLEASURE, GLORIFIED TO THE POINT WHERE IT BECOMES INACCESSIBLE: SOPHISTICATED METHODS OF MENTAL CONTROL, FORCES OF ENTERTAINMENT AND PROPAGANDA BRAINWASHING MINDS INTO THE MOST ABJECT FORMS OF ABSTRACTION: MIND RECREATION, CONSUMPTION, MASS COMMUNICATION, RELIGIOUS HYPNOSIS, DEMOCRATIC CYBERNETICS, ECONOMY SEMIOLOGY, AN IDEOLOGICAL SPECTACLE AIMED AT ENSURING THE REGENERATION OF SLAVERY, DISTILLED AND RECYCLED UNTIL IT REACHES THE SPIRIT OF THE CONSUMER AND ANNIHILATES THE RAW INSTINCTS OF SURVIVAL; AS ALIENATION INTENSIFIES, HORROR ARISES FROM MONSTROUS SOCIAL RAPPORTS THAT FORM THE HEART OF THE ECONOMY: SEEDS OF DEATH, PAIN THAT SWALLOWS PAIN, ACCEPTANCE IS THE NAUSEATING SECRET OF HUMAN MISERY: I LET MYSELF BE CONTAMINATED BY THE CBP; POISON BECOMES THE ANTIDOTE; BEING IS NOT ENOUGH, LOVING IS NOT ENOUGH , THINKING IS NOT ENOUGH, SUFFERING IS NOT ENOUGH; THERE ARE ONLY THE COMMON DENOMINATORS OF A HUMANITY NEEDING TO BE RECONSTRUCTED… I’M WIRED, CHASING THE WHITE JUNK, MY BODY SUFFERING THE MOST INSIDIOUS FORMS OF MENTAL AND PHYSICAL EROSION, AGONIZING WITHIN THE GRACE OF HORROR, RUNNING ON EMPTY IN CHAOTIC AND ERRATIC WANDERING, CONTINUOUSLY DOUBTING, GETTING THROUGH SHORT AND STERILE PERIODS OF WITHDRAWAL, WAITING FOR THE CHEMICAL VIOLENCE TO ACCENTUATE, ERASING MEANING AND MEMORY OF INSIGNIFICANT PERSONAL EXPERIENCES… ONLY THE INFAMOUS COMMUNITY OF WHORES IS ALL THAT’S LEFT OUT THERE, BECAUSE ONLY THEY KNOW THE LAST MAGIC RITUAL, SENTENCE OF THE FLESH, EROTIC AND LUCID EXPECTATION OF DEATH, ULTIMATE ATTEMPT AT REBELLION AGAINST THE MORONIC ACCUMULATION OF MERCHANDISE… / Problem: by what means could a strict form of major contagious nihilism be obtained: one which, with all due scientific probity, teaches and performs willful death… (and not the art of merely continuing to vegetate in anticipation of some kind of fallacious «afterlife» -). Fredrick Nietzsche, Last Notebooks, 1888. / Paraíso – Monday, November 12th, 2012 – … smoking CBP on the aluminum cap of a plastic pasteurized milk bottle… crime deep-rooted pleasure… in the face of laborious moralities and well-to-do humanist-conscience metaphysical affirmations…  addictions converging to the point of murder… unbridled violence against all forms of civility and reason… reach for the heart of sensation… observe the extinction of breath and wear of the organs… searching for a possible strategy to oppose the many falsifications that propagate death… smoking CBP on the aluminum cap of the plastic pasteurized milk bottle… time collapses… the orgiastic matter undertaking the destruction of men… LUN 12NOV – SANTIAGO CL – PARIS FR – 1720 – 1100 – AIR FRANCE – AF 401 – A MERINO BENITEZ CHARLES DE GAULLE – 13NOV – DIRECTO – TERMINAL 2E – DURACION 13:40 – RESERVA CONFIRMADA – ECONOMICO – DUENO DE AVION: AF AIR FRANCE – TRIPULACION DEL COCKPIT: AF AIR FRANCE – TRIPULACION DE CABINA: AF AIR FRANCE – TIPO DE EQUIPO: BOEING 777-300ER – ASIENTO 26H NO FUMADOR CONFIRMADO. / Her nobles shall be no more, nor shall kings be proclaimed there; all her princes are gone./ Her castles shall be overgrown with thorns, her fortresses with thistles and briers. / She shall become an abode for jackals and a haunt for ostriches. / Wildcats shall meet with desert beasts, satyrs shall call to one another; / There shall the Lilith repose, and find for herself a place to rest. / Isaiah, 34:14 / TOTALLY SHAVED PUSSY. #REPLY MASSAGE WORLDTRAVEL69…

 

Antoine d’Agata, Valparaíso 2012

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